


The Witch and Those Two

by ViridescentCrow



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: F/M, Humor, Original Character - Freeform, Romance, Wiccan - Freeform, bit of a slice of life, cause it deals with some strong stuff, new age energy worker, oh god what have I done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-04-26 11:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5003383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViridescentCrow/pseuds/ViridescentCrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I was cursed the day I met you."</p>
<p>"Is that so bad?"</p>
<p>An attempt at writing in the Durarara!! universe with interceptions to the cannon timeline. Raine Kulson, a local wiccan and new age energy worker gets thrown into the middle of a nasty feud. Is this on purpose? Fate? </p>
<p>All she wants to do is run a nice, smooth business and normal life. But that's not exactly easy in Ikebukuro.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There are only a few things you learn easily when you read someones fortune. The first is that you have to trust instinct over logic. The second is that if they are unwilling or purposefully trying to prove you wrong, you can't get an actual read on them and it's been a waste of time for each of you. The third is that when someone goes to get their fortune read, it's about more than hope and worry and superstition and curiosity...

Its about their dreams. Their future. Their past. Everything is out there and they are trying their hardest to catch it with both hands.

As a woman with the gift of knowing how to read the subtle signs and explain the meaning behind forces unknown, I have witnessed this thousands of times. Some come back with good news- a new husband, a new job, an old rekindled friendship. Others come back with less fortunate news.

But I always carry the belief that we bring into our lives what we are expecting- anticipating. What we don't want to happen, most likely will. To work diligently against a force attracts it further.

This is not something every day people want to hear. Not form someone telling them of their life path.

So my beliefs are kept to myself.

I try to keep optimistic at work but some people can be so draining. Always demanding for good information and upset when I can return with nothing more than vague guidance.

My 'sight' has never really been as powerful as others has been. I get flashes, instincts- I listen to my gut more than logic. It's helped me and some others in many cases- but I wouldn't call it a gift. Nevertheless if you can figure out how to read cards and work the magics from your bloodline centuries ago, you can pretty much get anyone to buy into it. Even yourself.

And that is exactly what I did. I took up the new age works and dealing. Tarot reading and other 'magic' working. Reading auras, century old spells revamped for modern times and the ever classic 'talking to the dead'.

Well, maybe talking to the dead isn't my specialty but I can do the other two pretty well. I even have a quaint little business in the center of the bustling city, Ikebukuro. I sell things other than my foresight and spell binding services- little charms and candles and stones- and do a good amount of business.

I'm quite happy.

 

Oh, did I not mention who I am? How silly of me. My name is Raine Kulson and I'm a paranormal aware human in the center of Japan. I'm half American, half Japanese. That comes from my mother being in the military and meeting my father here. It's the classic tale of falling in love with someone outside of your country and moving there because you're also in love with their culture and climate and blah, blah, blah. Short end of the story is they ended up living here because it was closer to my fathers parents and America was never my mothers scene.

From my mother's traits, I was given long auburn hair that I can pridefully say reaches my hip after years of growing it out. It's anything but pin straight and the curls are unruly and wild, apparently adding to a more mystic appearance. Which I don't mind, honestly. Whatever brings me more business, I'll take.

I get my pale skin and almond brown eyes from my father, where the ends perk up just like his- and I love them endlessly. They're the only real trace of my father in me, save for my pale skin. Other than that, I look more like my mother. Her curvaceous build and perfectly high cheekbones, even right down to her height- a nice and simple five foot six, thank you very much.

It was from her I learned the mystic path. To read Tarot and wear stones was her blessing, things she believed in with all her heart and soul. It was really only natural that those things pass down to her child, whom she taught them to. My childhood was not filled with normalcy but the paranormal and abnormal. From homeschool to talking to those who claimed to speak to spirits, I was raised in a new age world.

Enough of it had grown on me to lead me to run my own little store. Which is where I am now, tucked in the center of a bustling city in Japan.

“Hello again, Raine!” a customer calls to me, her voice dripping with excitement. “That spell you helped me with last week totally worked! I got two job offers since!” she beamed, her face practically splitting with the smile she held.

“That's great! I'm glad!” I smile gently, though some part of me does take credit for the spell working. She had tried three times without any luck by herself and had finally come to me- and here we were, a week and two job offers later.

“Thanks! I even brought you a little something extra this time as a thanks. Do you happen to like lemon sugar cookies?” she asked, sliding me a small plate covered in plastic wrap.

I can't fight the smile on my face as I flicker my gaze down to the place. The homemade cookies peer back up expectantly, looking delicious and dangerous for my diet.

“You're a lethal threat to my weight loss progress.” I laugh and take the cookies, slipping the plate beneath the counter. “But thank you. I shall devour them after an hour long run. Or two miles. Maybe I'll just watch others run for me.” another laugh passes between us as she slips out- just as a man comes strolling in.

Immediately I don't like him.

To start, he's wearing a winter jacket in the middle of July. That screams all kinds of wrong in the first minute. To add on to the immediate dislike, he's wearing a know-it-all smirk, ambling around as if he doesn't have a care in the world.

There are all sorts of bad vibes radiating from him. Sneaky. Greasy.

Untrustworthy.

Nevertheless, the sooner I get him out of my store the better.

“Can I help you, sir?” I ask politely, a smile plastering across my face effortlessly. Even if I don't like him, potential business is potential business.

“I think you can, Miss Kulson.” he grins, my name sliding off his lips in a way I don't like. “I've heard from a mutual friend that you're quite good at reading fortunes. Is this true?”

I don't hesitate. I won't squirm beneath him, no matter if I can't figure out his game.

“I let my work speak for itself. You have to be open minded to be able to be read. If you're not open to it, I can't help you.”

He smiles, holding his chin as if he's considering his next words.

I already know he isn't. He came in here with a purpose. From his short and dark hair to his stride, this is not a man who walks into the world without already knowing what he wants.

“I've heard of you, Mr. Orihara.” I say finally, able to place his face with the reputation he has in these parts.

Dangerous. That's what Izaya Orihara is. Dangerous and sleazy. Slimy. And I don't trust for a minute that he believes anything that has to do with the kind of business I run.

“My reputation precedes me.” he laughs slightly, a light chuckle. As if it were nothing more than an inside joke. “Tell me, do you really believe you can read fortunes, Miss Kulson? That one human can see into what will be?”

“Not in that sense, no.” I bite back a sigh. I'm not going to get rid of this guy easily. “The future is a mess of what could be and what may be. There is nothing that is set in stone. Surely a man of your standing must understand that.”

“A man of my standing? My, my, you make it sound as if I'm nothing more than a common criminal.”

I quirk a brow. “What is it you needed from me, Mr. Orihara?”

“Very well, believe what you want.” he shrugs. “I only came in for a fortune, actually.”

“A fortune?” I repeat, deadpanning without meaning to.

Izaya Orihara, a man who thinks himself above others, asking for a fortune?

I couldn't ignore the unsettling feeling in my stomach that had begun to brew as he nodded.

“That is a service you provide, is it not?”

“Very well.” I sigh and motion toward a corner I've sectioned off for readings. It's a tiny are with only a table and two chairs, cloaked in various cloths and scarves. It's tucked behind a few screens that fold and unfold as needed- giving a sense of privacy but still being public.

He smiles wider- but it only makes me want to punch him.

“A basic reading is fifteen minutes and only has the explanation and estimate of what the cards are trying to convey.” I explain as I sit across from him, bringing out my deck of Tarot cards and handing them to him.

He takes them as if he's used to it, his hands sliding all over them as he begins to shuffle wordlessly.

“I take you've had your fortune read before, Mr. Orihara?” I ask blandly as he passes them back.

I'm met with a wider smirk.

“The three cards you've chosen represent the past, present and future respectively. Is there any specific topic you have in mind that you're looking for some insight on?”

A single nod. “Love.”

The word slides off his lips with a quirky little smirk, his eyelids lowering as we meet gazes.

“Alright. As mentioned before, these are only what could be- not what will be. There are times when the cards are wrong-”

“I do hope you haven't been dealt a faulty hand, Miss Kulson.” he remarks with a chuckle that I pointedly ignore.

“Technically this is the hand you're being dealt.” I point out as I flip over the three cards between us.

Studying them, I wait as my fingers run over the first card- the one representing his past- The Eight of Cups.

“This card, the Eight of Cups, typically represents abandonment, withdrawal, disappointment and escapism.” I define, keeping my eyes down on the card. “In the past in love it could perhaps mean that you were abandoned or withdrew yourself from a relationship. There was something between the two of you- it caused a great rift.”

My instinct kicked in, words flowing from my mouth without a care for who they were directed for.

I flipped over the middle card- the one that was the present. It's a reversed page of Swords.

“And in the here and now, this represents you and your current state. The page of swords- reversed- means that there are some undelivered promises still lingering. You're anxious for something but there is no action- only talk and the desired action brewing in the background. Perhaps you're a bit impatient? This could also mean there there is a potential relationship in the horizon that you're anticipating- but no one has made a move yet.”

I ignore him as he leans closer, feeling his eyes on me.

I was not a fool nor would I ever be. Izaya Oriahara? Not my type.

Nonchalantly, I flipped over the third card and froze for a moment. I played it off as studying the card but if I knew anything about Izaya Orihara, it was that he was observant.

“Whats the matter?” he toyed, his smug smirk leaking through to his words. “See something in my future that surprised you?”

I wanted to snort and reply with a well deserved 'Hardly' but the card that had appeared was not one I had exactly anticipated myself. The major Arcana card- The Tower.

“This card, the tower, is one that does not always bring happy things, Mr. Orihara.” I stated bluntly. “It represents disaster, upheaval- things that suddenly change and turn out to be things that could perhaps be entirely different than from what you had anticipated before. Revelations, changes, deceit...The Tower is not all negative, however, just as nothing can be all positive. This change could be good. It could reveal someone in your life- in this example and quest for insight on love, it could mean that you will face a big change that may lead you to a new person entirely. Someone you hadn't considered before, perhaps. But it could be something different entirely...Are you sure you came in here solely for the purpose on insight to your love life, Mr. Orihara?” I asked and raised my gaze to his- only to find his face close and unflinching.

His eyes focused on me, waiting for a change in posture- a hint that he had frightened or unnerved me.

I wasn't about to let him get the satisfaction.

“Perhaps. But maybe not. Who can know?” he shrugged and stood with a larger smirk as he looked down at me. “I suppose only time will tell, won't it?”

“I suppose.” I shrugged and stood as well, creating distance between him and I. “My fee is-”

Without another word, Izaya reached into his pocket and withdrew his wallet.

“Fifteen minutes, yes? The basic reading- I can do math. Consider the rest a tip.” his smile grew as he pressed a few crisp bills into my hands and brushed past me, toward the door.

I stared down at the money in my hand- a solid seventy in all-confused more than anything else. Seventy? Consider the rest a tip?

No. Not from him. Not from Izaya Orihara.

“Ah, Miss Kulson?” Izaya called as he neared the door. I turned to find him fully facing me, a devious cat like grin ever growing on his face. “Thank you. I'm sure we'll meet again.”

God, I hoped not.


	2. Chapter 2

With everything in me, I hoped never to see him again. To never hear the name Izaya Orihara even muttered itself would have been a miracle- but sure enough, I did end up seeing him.

However, he didn't exactly stop and chat- nor did he really seem to pay any attention to me.

Instead, it was as if he hadn't noticed me at all.

Not when he walked by my shop a few times in one day. And certainly not when it was my day off and I was strolling around town.

 

Which, granted, both could be coincidences. But seeing him more and more frequently was never a good thing.

Especially when he was walking toward your table, where you so happened to be eating lunch at the same place and time as he was. 

I couldn’t ignore the glances sent my way at the image of Izaya approaching me. Part of me wanted to keel over and empty the contents of my stomach- and other parts wanted to just get up and run.

Nothing in me wanted me to stay and see what he wanted. But to get up and leave now would send Izaya a message I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer to. Not if I wanted to live to tell the story, that is. 

As he stopped opposite to my chair and seated himself without asking, I felt the scowl on my face tighten. 

“Miss Kulson. What a coincidence.” he smirked, leaning forward on the table, his hands clasped before him comfortably. 

“Sure. Take a seat. I don’t mind.” I sighed, unable to bite back every comment. “I’m starting to think you’re following me, Mr. Orihara.”

“Following you?” he chuckled, his dark eyes locked on my face. I knew without a doubt he had to know a lot of people were staring. I also knew that was one of the very reasons he sat here across from me. “I’ve just had more business in this side of town, that’s all. Is it really so wrong to sit and have a nice little chat with a friend?”

I wanted to tell him we weren’t even friends in his dreams, but I stopped myself. Nothing good came from being Izaya’s friend, that was true enough. But nothing good came from being on his bad side, either. The two were very different but very similar bad endings. I’d have to play this out carefully. 

“When you disturb their peaceful lunch, it is.” I settled on that but forced myself to relax a bit. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of getting under my skin. 

“I’m sorry for the intrusion.” he didn’t sound sorry at all. 

“What is it you needed from me?” I asked quickly, praying the waitress would swing by and give me my bill so I could leave. 

She was nowhere in sight. 

Perfect. 

“Do I need something from you to just stop by?” 

I was a lot of things, but naive wasn’t one of them. I knew Izaya Orihara had trouble written all over him. He towed it behind him wherever he went, wreaking havoc each and every way. It was what paved the path he walked on, tearing down any who stood in the way with that same cheshire cat grin. 

I met his sinister gaze and decided to play into his game, if only just for a moment. It was a stupid move, really, since appeasing him meant he would consider it acceptance until the end of time. 

“I suppose not but I’m afraid you’re going to have to try and catch me at a later time, Mr. Orihara.” I sighed and finally caught the eyes of my waitress.

She looked like she’d rather be anywhere but serving my table. If she valued her job, however, she would cart her fake smile over here and give me my bill. 

“I have business of my own to attend to, so I apologize in advance for cutting this meeting short-” I begin to stand, ready to track my waitress down and demand my bill, but something suddenly blocks my path.

Izaya Orihara stands between me and the waitress, smirking down at my confused and slightly surprised expression. 

“Why don’t I accompany you? I’m fairly good at attending business.” 

It doesn’t sound like I can refuse. The thought slithers down my spine, cold and slimy and dangerous. 

There is no denying Izaya Orihara. He will attend with or without my permission. It’s written on his face, in his entire biological make up. ‘No’ isn’t a word he accepts often. Or at all.

That doesn’t stop me from trying, however. 

“While I would be absolutely flattered,” I spit, not bothering to hide the displeasure in my voice, “I’m afraid I will have to decline. You claim to need nothing from me and I have more important things to sort out. It was nice running into you, Mr. Orihara.”

I sidestep him and continue to the waitress without looking back, with a false calm and forced normal actions, I check out and head outside. 

I don’t watch for Izaya. I don’t turn and look. 

 

But sure enough, he’s there. Falling into step beside me. Whistling nonchalantly. 

 

I am in the grasp of the lion, unable to escape. 

And I am terrified. 

 

“You seem tense, Miss Kulson. Can I call you Raine?” his laugh is sickening to hear. I can feel his smile grow when I don’t answer, his whole posture quivering with excitement. 

Is he really enjoying this? 

“About my fortune the other day,” he begins, his voice falling into a mocking tone. “I wanted to-”

Before he can finish, he snaps his attention behind us- a more strained smile forming on his lips as he steps in front of me just in time to avoid a massive vending machine flying to the spot where he just was.

I can’t help but tense and jump, my brown eyes wide as I glance at the dismantled vending machine, wires twitching with electricity as it snaps and dies- the terrible noise of its screeching halt meeting my ears. 

I whip my head around to the direction it came just as Izaya gives a sigh. “Another time, Raine. Ta!” 

The sound of footsteps isn’t drowned out by the shouting of a particularly tall and blonde bartender- who happens to be seething with rage, his energy all over the place. 

And he’s heading this way.

With a stop sign freshly ripped from the ground in his hand. 

“Izaya, I’m going to kill you!!” the bartender shouts but I’m too stunned to move. 

Frozen in place, all fear of Izaya wiped away with a fresh and confused concern for my life in its place, I stare at the bartender as he chases after Izaya- and right past me.

It takes a few moments for my heart to calm down. Thirteen beats. Forty. 

One twenty. 

It’s been a good few minutes before I’m able to shake myself from the shock of the quick incidents that have just happened. Once I do, however, I push myself toward the way back home, fully intending to forget this day even happened. 

Who was that man? Why was he chasing Izaya? Not that I’d blame him for wanting the man dead, it sure would solve a few of my problems, but it seemed so sudden. Had he been following Izaya? Chasing him? It was hard to imagine Izaya running from anything- but sure enough he had made a great escape moments before he came into contact with the vending machine. 

Relieved the man wasn’t after me, I still clung to the curiosity that came with the scene. Izaya was quick to make an escape.. Perhaps this man was the key to get Izaya out of my life. Whatever strength it took to lift road signs and vending machines was definitely something that perhaps could be feared- but part of me only found a rush of thirst for the knowledge of how and why. It was a directed anger not meant for me, at the least, but I couldn’t shake this feeling…

When I got home, I quickly set to a tarot reading for myself, shuffling the deck before I laid the cards out when one card slid from the middle of the deck. 

Knowing that I should never turn down the cards when they were conveying a message, I grasped it slowly, staring at it with a moment of hesitation.

The Lovers. 

A union. 

Slowly, I set the card down, not bothering to shuffle the deck further. Their answer was loud and clear. 

But it only confused me further. If a union was on the rise- whom was it with? Izaya? Or the strong bartender? Or maybe someone else entirely? 

Uneasily, I sigh and slip the card back into the deck, tucking it away. 

I’ve had enough confusion for one day. It’s time to sleep.

 

+

At eight in the morning on the dot, my phone rings suddenly. Immediately I notice it’s a number I don't recognize, but the potential for a customer to call is too tempting for me not to answer.

"Raine Kulson speaking, how may I help you?"

"So this is your personal number, i'm glad it was easy to find."

"Mr. Orihara." Of course it would be him. "How can I help you?"

"Our time together yesterday got cut a little short didn't it?" His chuckle nearly makes me sick. "I was calling to ask what time I could expect you to be around sunshine sixty tomorrow so we could finish our little chat." 

It isn’t an invitation but a demand. The same slimy feeling from before coils around my spine, sending a prickle of unease through my blood. I don’t want to agree- I want to hang up and change numbers, move from Ikebukuro and take on a whole new life. 

But letting him chase me out of my hometown was not something I was about to do.

“I don’t have any business there tomorrow, Mr. Orihara.” I sigh, shuffling papers to sound busy. 

“You do now.” Izaya laughs, “I happened to have crossed some information concerning you that I think you’d just love to hear. For a price, of course, as my services don’t come free but I thought you should know that your life is in danger, Miss Kulson. Without this vital information I have, you very well may not be alive to hear it if you deny this meeting.”

A shiver runs through me like a winter chill setting in on a warm autumn. I know escaping Izaya is an impossible task- but is my life really in danger? If so, from who? Him? Someone else who thinks I’m associating myself with him? 

Or someone else entirely?

Better yet, was he even telling the truth? How could I know to trust him, of all people? Perhaps this was all just some ploy to scare me into his grasp-- but why? What had I done? I didn’t owe him money, nor did I ask any favors of him. I would never the need of his services, either. Informants just weren’t my thing. 

So why had I made my way onto his radar? Did he just need a new toy? Someone else to conquer and throw into his pile of pets?

“Raine?” his smile is almost tangible. The gleam in his eyes haunting me from behind my eyelids with each blink, their dark colour all consuming. 

His eyes are the kind that consume everything in sight. There is no light. There is no hope, no remorse, no compassion. 

His eyes are that of what he is- a predator. And for all intent and purposes, I am his newest prey. 

“Don’t call me that,” I note after a moment, still mulling over my options. “Miss Kulson is just fine.”

I could tell him no and take the risk against my life- or believe what was probably a big lie. 

“Hey, hey.” He trills in mock defense, his voice calm and eerily patient. “I’m just trying to help a friend out.”

“And you do that by calling them at eight in the morning?” I asked, growing irritated quickly, “Look, Mr. Orihara, I’m busy tomorrow. Thank you for your...Warning. But I have other things to do in my life than worry about my death.”

“Is that so? Interesting.” Izaya hums and it doesn’t help my mood. At all. “Ah- It seems I have to go, Miss Kulson. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other fairly soon.”

“Right.” I sigh and hang up before I can even manage more of a response. 

That bastard might think it’s funny to toy with me like this but I’m not having it. If my life was in danger, wouldn’t I know about it? 

+

 

The day passed without any other disturbances from Mr. Orihara. No phone calls. No messages. No passing by. 

I even closed the store early, frustrated enough with the liar that I was unable to concentrate on any real work. For at least a day or two. Okay, two days. Can you blame me though? Any spells I could attempt would be foiled from the raw emotion running through me. I wouldn’t be any use to anyone in this state. And if I’m not at my peak, my customers won’t get what I promise- and that’s the best service I can supply to them. 

My thoughts traveled to and fro, each hunting and wandering farther than the one before it. 

What if he was telling the truth? If so, should I really be walking the streets right now? 

Then again, what if he was lying? Telling me only fractions of a fabricated tale to spin my head around and right into his devious little plan- whatever it was. He had something brewing, that much I was sure of, but I was determined to change my involvement in it. Mixing with Izaya Orihara was never good. He was bad company to keep. A man who wears danger over his soul is one who dwells in shadows. 

And everyone knows that those hiding in the shadows have little time to give. 

A friendship with Mr. Orihara would only end poorly. But I’m not gonna get there to see exactly what kind of poor is in store for those who are friends. 

Could he even keep an actual friend? An actual friendship? With mutual respect?

No. Not Mr. Orihara. He believed himself above and beyond all others. We were just toys and pets to him, things to be used for entertainment. Never something deserving of respect. 

I had to calm down. My head was spinning with too many thoughts- too many fears locked away inside my blood, multiplying with each breath I took. Was this what he wanted? To get under my skin? Make me paranoid? God, what an infuriating man!

“Hey!” a voice calls and angrily, I turn. My brown eyes practically rip into the guy as he approaches me on the street.

“What?” I snap, my teeth grinding. I’ve got too many problems to be dealing with this right now- whatever this is. What does this guy want anyways? 

He doesn’t look very memorable- actually, I can’t really see any of his features. He’s an average height, but his face and hands are hidden in a big dray hoodie that is large enough it makes it past his hips. 

“You’re Raine Kulson, right?” he asks a little too calmly, his stride never slowing down.

“Who are-” I begin, but it’s already too late. I can see the flash of light as he pulls something metallic out of his pocket.

Immediately I reach up to defend myself, to put my arms between my vital organs and the knife- but the blade clips through my clothes, creating a large painful gash in both of my hands. 

I choke back a sob, my eyes darting to the wound- and its too late to turn around. Too late to run. I’ve already given him enough time to close in and hurt me worse than this.

“Help-” I begin, but it’s useless. His forearm slams against my throat, pushing me back against a brick wall.

My head bounces on the hard stone and my sight fuzzes in and out as I feel my mind slip. 

Pain. Cold. It’s almost everywhere.

I try and focus on his face but it’s muddled, hidden beneath shadows.

Shadows...Hadn’t I been thinking of them earlier? I could have sworn I had...Yeah..Someone cloaked in shadows. I remember now. Izaya Orihara. The man who dwells in shadows.

Did he do this?

I try and force myself to focus further, trying to push against the raging panic and fear rising in my mind. It’s useless but for a moment I think I see Izaya somewhere in my vision. Maybe he’s attacking me. Maybe I’m imagining it. But as the blade meets my shoulder roughly, dragging down painfully to my torso, I can’t help but give myself into the darkness. 

I am only human after all. I can only take so much. Thinking hurts because it means staying where I’m being hurt.

The shock and pain overwhelm me and drag me beneath consciousness. 

And then it’s all black. There is nothing. No anger. No Izaya. No blade. No pain.

It’s so comfortable.

+

Waking up isn’t so comfortable. It’s a flash of bright, painful light as my scars throb from memory and I’m thrown into being awake. 

The first thing I’m aware of- besides the burning and pain I’m in- is that this light I see is from a ceiling that isn’t mine and certainly isn’t a hospital’s. It’s a ceiling light, installed directly above in a modern fashion- and I have never seen it before in my life.

The second thing I’m aware of, which just so happens to be the noise that woke me up, was voices. They’re considerably hushed but even still in a silent room, they’re loud enough to bring me to consciousness.

I dislike them immediately. More so when I recognize one.

“My, my. So you’re awake then?” Izaya calls out and I turn my head briefly, wincing in pain as I do so, to find him sitting in a chair next to me. He’s seated quite comfortably, sprawled out in the arm chair, his legs hanging off the side.

“Mr. Orihara…?” I ask, bringing my hand to my head as I try and force myself to sit up. “What are you-?”

“Ah, I wouldn’t do that.” Izaya points out a second after the pain hits me in a wave stronger than before.

I struggle to fight the bile building up in my stomach from the raw pain building and burning over my body. In the emergency of the situation, I force myself up and search for the nearest toilet- or trash can- anything at this point.

I make it just in time to hurl the contents in my stomach into a nearby small trash bin, my body crumpled and curled into a ball as I slide to the floor. 

I try desperately to hold my stomach together in one piece, to keep my body still and unmoving- to decrease the pain- when a soft voice calls out to me.

“There, there...Here, drink this. It’ll help.”

I tear my face away from the trash bin long enough to see a man in a white lab coat and glasses. His hair is brown and shoulder length- and he has a calm, small smile. 

“Who are..?” I try to speak but my throat burns with dryness and bile. 

“Ah, right. I’m Shinra Kishitani. Or Dr. Kishitani, if you’d prefer. I patched you up.” he presses a cup into my and points to my stomach- which I now notice are covered in bandages.

Which are slightly bloody.

Okay, more than slightly. I don’t stare long enough to fully decipher their bloodiness- my stomach is already bringing up the next round of acid before I can.

Pain sweeps through me, my body trembling as I struggle to calm myself.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. This is no time to panic. Just...Try to remember what happened. Slowly.

“I was...There was a man. He had a knife-” I begin, panic settling in beside the pain and fear. “He-”

“It’s alright.” Shinra comforts, his hand patting my shoulder as he guides me back up to the couch. “Just drink the medicine. The pain should subside enough to be able to not puke your lungs out!”

_Should_? 

The thought almost makes me puke again. With that stupid happy smile.

Without a second thought, I down the liquid. Ignoring the horrid taste and disastrous feel of it filling my twice emptied stomach, I force myself to remain still after I slam the cup down on the coffee table not too far away. 

Everything is silent for the next few minutes as I wait until the pain lessens enough for me to see straight- the only sound in the room is breathing.

Slowly, I open my eyes and study my arms- also bandaged in some places- and my torso. Yup. Definitely bloody bandages. Dried, mostly, but still bloody. They cover my body from waist to my shoulders, wrapped in a makeshift shirt. 

“My...Shirt…?” I ask slowly, dragging my eyes over to the doctor, who gives a sympathetic smile. 

“Ruined. Izaya lended you a spare of his for later, when you want it.”

“Gave.” Izaya corrected- suddenly reminding me that he was still very much there.

I look up to him, a bit surprised by his immediate gaze on me. How long had he been staring at me? Did he see me when Shinra was patching me up? My cheeks begin to flare with embarrassment, the heat creeping up to my skin. It’s so pale I know he can see the blush.

I also know he’s going to take some sick kind of enjoyment from it.

Wait- I could have sworn I’d seen him during the attack.

“Was it you?” I ask, the acid in my voice an obvious source of amusement to him. His eyes flicker with a deeper interest as he chuckles.

“I was told you were here but I didn’t attack you.” he shakes his head. “I’m hurt you’d think I would. Even after I warned you.”

“Who?” I demand, unable to control my anger to muster more words.

“We’ve no idea, unfortunately.” Shinra pipes up. “I only just got the call about a mugging- er, what they thought was a mugging, I guess. No one was there when I arrived and I brought you here. Your phone was ready to dial Izaya, so I just hit call and asked to see if he knew anything.”

I turn my gaze to Shinra, raising a brow. 

He quickly shook his head. “Oh, no worries! He didn’t! He was surprised I had your phone though!”

“I wasn’t calling him at all!” I snap, my teeth grinding in anger. “I was walking home when I was called out to by someone- a man in a dark gray hoodie that covered his face. he asked if I was me and before I could answer, he attacked me with a knife. I… I thought it was you!” I hiss and point toward Izaya, who looks pensive and amused. 

Too amused, I decide, for someone who is being accused of assault. 

“I already told you.” Izaya chuckles, his face growing dark, “It wasn’t me. Shinra called me and I figured I’d come see how my dear friend was doing. You sound ungrateful, Raine.”

“Ungrateful?” I sneer, snarling as I glance toward him. “You’re the one who lied about my life being in danger- and then to prove your point when I refused to meet you, you came and attacked me!”

“Alright, I’m done here. Shinra, when she’s in a better state and not convinced I’m the one who hurt her, call me, alright?” Izaya stood with a heavy sigh, his smile never faltering. “I’ve had enough lunacy from her for now. Ta.”

“You wait a minute you slimy bastard-!” I call after him, turning to stop him- and regret it. Pain bubbles into my vision, making my sight blurry with the intensity. 

Izaya doesn’t turn. He doesn’t stop. He leaves in silence, towing his jacket over his shoulder and wearing his signature cat like grin.

I hate him more the moment the door closes and I hear his muted whistling.

“He has something to do with this.” I growl, closing my eyes as I turn back to Shinra. “It’s too fishy of a story for him not too.”

“I can get someone to track down the security footage of a building nearby the place of attack, if you want proof. There is a brief recording of what happened. The police have already seen it and Izaya isn’t there. They don’t know who assaulted you but I am positive it wasn’t him.” Shinra offers but it’s anything but helpful information.

“Doesn’t mean he didn’t set it up.” I mutter acidically, my anger building as I breathe around the pain. 

Everything hurts.

“Why are you so intent on it being his fault? If that's okay to ask, that is.” Shinra asks, a genuine childlike curiosity crossing over his face as he watches me.

“Because with a man like him, nothing good can come from his involvement. In anything. Especially when I wasn’t calling him.” I snap again, attempting to bite back some of the anger- but Shinra doesn’t even flinch.

“But you were.” Shinra points out again and sighs, “You can see the footage available tomorrow, when they police stop by, if you want. They wanted to be informed when you awoke- but it’s late now.” 

He glances toward the windows opposite to us- floor length wide windows that almost make up the whole wall- and I notice the moon is nowhere in sight and it’s dark outside. 

“What time is it?” I ask, suddenly very afraid of the answer. It can’t be that late, right?

“Around three in the morning. I got the call around eleven last night.” Shinra sighed and glanced up to the door. “You should rest, though. You’re going to need it if you want to talk to the police with coherency.”

“How do you know Mr. Orihara?” I ask quickly, not wanting to lose the one chance I have at finding out a little more about Izaya.

“Izaya? I’ve known him since high school. We’re not exactly friends but we’re not enemies. I’m sort of an underground doctor of sorts- but I do enough work that I’m well known around these parts. Most of my clients want to stay out of hospitals. I hope you don’t mind if I ask you to stay here? Your wounds were pretty significant and I wouldn’t feel right sending you home.” 

I shake my head and meet his gaze, a burning question lingering far deeper than the new wounds. “Do you really believe he had nothing to do with it?” 

Shinra ponders his words next, glancing up in a thoughtful matter before he smiles and shakes his head. “Nope! Izaya wouldn’t have been this careless, honestly. If he has an issue with you or someone, he’ll most likely take a more personal note with it. So you know exactly who it is you messed with. This...This was too sloppy.” Shinra shrugged and yawned. “But it’s been a long night. You can sleep here on the couch. The blankets and pillows are right there- it’s already set to how it should be for your wounds. Just don’t move around to much. Night!”

Without much else, I’m left there alone. The lights are shut off shortly and sleep drags at me, the pain causing more exhaustion than it had before.

Man, this was stressful.

Hadn’t I wanted to avoid Izaya? I was pretty sure that was what I wanted to do. What I needed to do.

Only now it seemed I was in the belly of the beast- and to only make it worse, now I owed him. I wasn’t quite sure how or why but he was here and that wasn’t something that came free. Not from him. 

And I was pretty sure my debt to him wouldn’t be easily paid.

Laying down, I grasped for another blanket, my fingers meeting a much smaller article though- 

A shirt. 

_Izaya’s_ shirt. 

SIlently, I slip it over my head and onto my torso, my lips quivering as tears began to fall from my eyes.

I was never going to be rid of Izaya Orihara. Not now. Not ever.

 

I only had to learn to accept my fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you hang around Izaya, you're gonna have a bad time.
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> \- Viri


	3. Brown, Like blood

Despite not wanting to believe it, Shinra was right. Izaya was innocent. For the most part. He wasn’t shown in the footage they had of the attack- and sure enough, I had been clinging to my phone. It almost looked like I had tried to call someone as the attacker had pinned me against the wall- attempting to suffocate me or something. I wasn’t sure. But somewhere in that mess it was my own hands that had begun dialing Izaya’s number.

I didn’t recall wanting to. Or even thinking to. I only remembered that I had thought I had seen him. But maybe I was just hallucinating.

I was angry and feeling lost- and dare I admit it, ashamed. I had blamed someone who was innocent in this matter only. His only crime, though there were many committed before I’m almost positive- was that he hadn’t stayed to properly defend himself. Who could blame him, really? I was shouting and swearing up and down it was him the entire time- he wouldn’t have had a chance to explain and still be considered innocent. So he let the videos talk for him to prove his innocence. 

How many times had he actually been trying to do the right thing and only succeeded in getting blamed and hated further? Maybe how he went about it wasn’t the best way but his intentions...They were something I knew nothing of. And I had just joined the countless others who hated and blamed Izaya blindly..I couldn’t allow that to sit on my conscience without feeling guilty. 

So I swallowed my pride and did what I never thought I would have before.

I called Izaya.

“Miss Kulson, what a surprise.” he answered, his cheery tone almost cause enough for me to hang up right then and there.

“I wanted to apologize.” I spit out quickly, holding back my anger with more willpower than usual. “I saw the tapes. It wasn’t you.”

“Apology accepted, Miss Raine.” I can practically feel his smile pressed against my cheek- the phone only a conduit for his pure glee in this moment. “Tell you what, why don’t we meet for lunch and have that chat I mentioned. It’ll still cost you, of course, but I’ve taken to pitying you and your ignorance can be...Forgiven, for now.”

I want to punch him. I want to hang up and puke and go back to blaming him. 

But I can’t. Not only is it wrong but even if it were right, I had no proof- and it was proof enough against me to show that _I_ had called _him_.

Not the other way around.

“When and where?” I sigh, admitting defeat. It’s too late to deny his involvement in my life now. If he wants to be in it, he will be. 

“That’s what I like to hear.” Izaya chuckles again and I can feel his gaze lingering in the space before me, as if he can see directly to me. As if he knows I’m curled up on Shinra’s couch, wearing his shirt over the bandages. “How does Russia Sushi sound? Drop by at say...Three?”

“Yeah.” I mutter, my body repulsed to the idea completely. Shinra had mentioned taking it easy and that much moving didn’t sound worthwhile. Especially when I knew who I would have to be seeing. 

“Wonderful. Until then, Miss Raine. Take care.” His mock concern does bring me to gag as soon as I hang up, staring at my phone menacingly. 

I toss it away from me, across the room in a fit of anger- when the door opens and a woman in a black bike suit and yellow motorcycle helmet walks in.

We both stare at each other for a minute- at least, I think we do. I’m not exactly sure. I’m only staring back at my reflection. 

“Hi.” I finally manage, bringing my hand up to give a small wave. “I’m…” How exactly was I supposed to explain this mess? 

Before I can get another word out, the woman whips out a PDA and begins typing, bringing it closer for me to read.

_“You’re the woman Shinra mentioned, who was attacked?”_ I read aloud and nod. 

 

“Yeah, that’s me. I was...Mugged, I guess. But they didn’t steal anything so I guess just attacked.”

_“I’m sorry to hear that. I’m Celty, I live here with Shinra.”_

“Nice to meet you. I’m Raine.” I nod, glancing back to where I threw my phone. “Uh, Shinra told me to stay here but that’s not really something I think I can stick to at the moment. I’ve got to meet...Someone at three. And I can’t meet them when I look like this.” 

One glance down at myself sells the story. I’m still wearing Izaya’s shirt but my pants are bloody and dirty from the night before. My hair is surely a mess from sleep and the struggle but I was able to at least fix part of it by throwing it up into a tight ponytail. The rest, however, was out of easy fixes.

Before I met Izaya, I would need to change. Out of these dirty pants and his shirt. If he saw me in it…

I wasn’t sure what would happen. I just wanted to make sure it _didn’t_ happen. Giving him the pleasure of seeing me in it, perhaps as a symbol of dependence on him, was not something I would allow. 

_“Do you need a ride? I have a bike that would be faster than walking if you live farther away.”_

“Considering I don’t even know where I am right now, a ride would be wonderful. Thank you.” I smile gratefully and follow Celty out of the apartment and into the parking garage for it. 

Where she leads me to a black bike. A very rumoured black bike.

“Wait...You’re the Black Rider?” I ask, shock coating my voice as I stare down at the motorcycle.

_“I hope that’s not a problem…?”_

“No, no, not at all! It’s awesome, actually.” I beam, grinning toward her. “I’ve heard about you but I’ve never actually seen you. And now I’m getting a ride from you...Thank you.” 

 

Without any further communication, save for telling Celty my address, we whip through the city almost silently. It’s a smooth ride to my own apartment, but I know we’re getting stares. The Black Ris anything but inconspicuous. 

As I hop of the back of the bike in front of my apartment building, the makeshift helmet of black matter retreats back to Celty. I would be amazed if I wasn’t so nervous, honestly. 

“You…” I begin, staring at my feet. “You can come in, if you want. Or if you’re busy and can’t, it’s alright. But thank you, so much! I owe you one, Celty.”

_“Sorry, I have a few other errands to run. Think you can make it by yourself??_

I nod and give a small smile. “Next time, then. I’ll find you at Shinra’s or something and pay you back. And if Shinra asks where I am, tell him something came up, please. I don’t think I can handle another person after my skin.” I laugh jokingly but it falls to awkward silence as Celty just nods and with a wave, she’s off. 

I watch her disappear back into the street, weaving in and out of traffic.

I’m glad I got to meet the Black Rider. I wonder if it’s true about her being headless, though…

Perhaps it’s better not to ask.

Besides, I have other things to worry about right now. Like getting out of Izaya’s shirt. 

I manage a quick shower for my hair, being careful not to get the bandages wet. Which is a feat in itself, really. Nevertheless, by the end of a painful thirty minutes, I’m mostly clean. My hair is washed and dried. I’m dressed in a flowing peasant style dress that covers most of my bandages- save for my arms. That can be covered with a jacket, though, which I hurriedly grab.

Slipping on some shoes and grabbing my keys, I make my way to Russia Sushi, reminding myself I have everything to be afraid of. I should be scared. 

But that isn’t the only emotion swimming through my veins. Sure, I’m scared- Izaya is someone to be scared of, that’s for sure. But I can’t help but feel...Guilty, still. Having wrongly accused him didn’t help my conscience at all- there was this greater feeling of indebt brewing within me. Part of me wanted to make it up to him. 

The other part didn’t want to find out exactly what that entailed. 

Ignoring the war between how I feel and how I thought I should feel, I focused instead on the purpose of this...Meeting. 

What does Izaya want to say, anyways? What ‘little chat’ had I missed? The one where he warned me about my life being in danger? I hadn’t hired him! _And_ he said it came with a fee! 

Granted, so did this meeting, but this time around it really wasn’t an invitation I could deny. I would go or I would pay for not going. Again. 

His comment on pitying me for my ignorance rang through my mind and annoyance rose up in me. He was all high and mighty, as if he had the world at his feet, bowing and begging and groveling- and I was about to do none of that. I would not idly stand by as he broke my life with lies and knives and debt. 

I had other things to worry about other than his shenanigans. 

 

When I arrived at Russia Sushi, it had already began to rain, the sky dropping sad and cold little tears down the earth and pavement around me. 

Should I wait inside? Or would Izaya prefer to meet up outside? Was he already inside? 

I debated calling him as the rain began to come down at a faster pace with no sign of stopping. Thankfully I had stepped under the awning of the store but it did little to keep me from the sudden chill sweeping through the air. No matter if I was wearing a jacket, there was a cold slimy feeling grasping at my attention beneath my skin. Something had to be wrong..

“Is no good to be out in rain, miss.” a tall, dark skinned man with a thick Russian accent called out to me and I turned up to meet his warm gray eyes.

“Ah, yeah, but I’m waiting for someone.” I frowned, scanning the thinning crowds on the street. 

Izaya, who typically stuck out, was nowhere in sight.

I checked my phone again for the time and sure enough, it was past three. Maybe he was inside already? 

“Who you wait for?” the man asked and I hesitated before answering. Did IZaya want other people to know about this meeting? Was it a secret? Something private? 

Apparently I had hesitated long enough for the large man to walk closer, his smile warm and friendly. 

“Is date?” he asked kindly, gesturing toward the restaurant. “Come in, eat and warm up while wait. Russia Sushi perfect for rainy day!”

“Date? Hardly.” I laughed and shook my head, a smile quivering up my lips. “Ha, a date with Izaya Orihara? Don’t make me laugh.”

“Your date is Izaya?” the man asked, raising a thick brow. “You keep strange company miss, but any friend of Izaya is welcome. I am Simon. I, too, am Izaya friend.”

“He isn’t my date. We’re not-” I shook my head fiercely. The day I date that slime bag is the day I sell my soul. “I’m Raine. Raine Kulson. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Is good to make friends. Friends eat sushi together! Come in, to celebrate new friendship!” Simon gestured once more and with a final glance to my phone, I nodded.

“Yeah, just let me send him a text-”

“Send whom a text?” a voice asks and I jump at the sound and suddenness of Izaya beside me.

“Mr. Orihara!” I gasp, my heartbeat pounding from the rush of adrenaline. A scowl begins to settle on my face, knowing that he popped up out of nowhere on purpose. How long had he been there, simply lurking? 

Or maybe...Hiding? 

I conceal my anger and sigh, turning to Simon. “It was nice meeting you.” I smile and brush past him, toward the doors. 

“We’ll take a more private area, thanks.” Izaya mentioned and soon I was being led by Simon into the back of the restaurant- where there were separate and private rooms for dining.

I wasn’t sure how I like the idea of being alone in a secluded room with Izaya but seeing as I was already here, I couldn’t think of a way to stop it from happening. 

Another more urgent chill ran through me and I could prevent the shiver that raised goosebumps on my skin.

“Cold?” Izaya asks with a knowing smile, “We’ll turn up the heat once we get inside.”

Was that...Did he just…?

No. This was strictly business. He made that clear and I wasn’t going to let it get anywhere past that. Not even friendly. 

And I sure as hell wasn’t going to let my guilt do the talking. This was not a man to feel guilty for accusing. It wasn’t past him to harm others for no reason. It wasn’t past him at all. He was low and vile and sickening-

Simon handed me a menu kindly and I nodded my thanks, snapping myself from my thoughts as I sat across from Izaya. 

“Thank you.”

“What would you like to eat today, Raine?” Izaya chimed, sprawling out on the floor comfortably. He crossed his legs, his foot tapping the air nonchalantly. “I think I’m in the mood for some delicious tuna and squid.”

I glance at the menu, my face pinned in a carefully thoughtful facade. 

Truth be told, I was still terrified. The door was shut. The room was small.

And here I was, completely alone with Izaya Orihara. 

 

“What is it that you wanted to speak with me about, Mr. Orihara?” I ask finally, keeping my voice as calm as I can manage. 

I set my menu down on the table before me, keeping my gaze on Izaya’s face as his gaze flickers to mine, a dangerous gleam reflecting off of his dark iris’. 

“How direct. I suppose I’ll order and just surprise you.” he smirks and writes a few things down on the ordering paper before he slips it under the door with the menus. “You really should learn to relax, Raine. Being so tense all the time can’t be good for your health.” 

“Do you ever stop smiling?” I ask suddenly, unable to stop myself at my words. They were direct and blunt and...Surprising, to him.

A light laugh falls from his lips before he hums as a response, tilting his head to the side as he studies me.

“How interesting. Not an immediate repetition of what I want but whether or not I ever stop smiling. You’re a pack of wild cards, I’ll give you that.” his voice is low and slow, almost mesmerizing. 

I do my best to ignore how he sounds because I know what comes with that voice. I know who owns it and what they are capable of.

Leaning over to my bag, I pull out the shirt he had left at Shinra’s for me and hold it out to him. 

Izaya quirks a brow, studying it for a minute with interest before his smile perks up the tiniest bit.

“The funny thing about a gift,” he chortles as he pushes my hand back toward me, refusing the shirt, “Is you get to keep it.”

“This particular gift, however,” I add quickly, and extend my arm toward him again. “Is one that I don’t want.”

“Too bad.” Izaya shrugs and I nearly chuck the shirt at him before I stop myself and drop the shirt beside me. 

“Fine. I’ll dispose of it properly later.” the words are more meant to hurt Izaya, which is stupid and petty and useless because he only shrugs in response. 

“If that’s what you want.” his eyes flicker with amusement. “Now, what I asked you here for. I’m sure you’re just dying to know.” the corner of his mouth picks up further, his smirk growing lopsided and cocky. 

I only stare in response. He’s already got me where he wants me. I won’t play into his emotional game. 

“Recently I’ve come into contact with some...things that have concerned you.” he begins, his eyes never leaving your face as he speaks. “Very interesting things, in fact-”

“Do you know who wanted to hurt me? Who did?” I ask, interrupting him. He has to know. If he wasn’t the one who did it- he has to at least know who. 

His widening smirk is all the confirmation I need. 

“And if I do? It’s not information I can tell you freely. Everything comes with a price and let’s both face the facts, you simply can’t pay to buy that answer.”

“Then why bother with this? In your eyes I already owe you. Yet you’ve warned me once and I ignored you. I got hurt because of it and this time you’re telling me I need to pay up for your warning when I didn’t even ask for it. I never asked to know you’ve been looking into information about me and I certainly didn’t ask for your help.”

“All that and you still dressed up.” Izaya motions to my attire and I fight a blush. I had worn this dress to cover the bandages with as little pain as possible- or so I thought. Hadn’t this dress been an easier option than something that touched my bandages? 

Or did I dress up for Izaya?

“You misunderstand my actions. I wore this to receive as little pain as possible from my wounds. Nothing more.” I inform but I know he doesn’t believe me. His face is drawn in the same angular way. The same infuriating grin plastered on his face like he’s in on some big cosmic joke I have no idea about.

“It’s moments like this, even when you’re blatantly lying to yourself, I’m reminded of your immense interesting existence.” he muses, his eyes flickering over my skin like monotone coloured flames burning me alive. 

I’m imprinted into his mind. Scorched into his memory because he wants me to be.

“I beg your pardon?” I ask, distaste rolling off my tongue. 

 

“You’re lying to yourself about not dressing up. Which, really, isn’t my problem. Go ahead. Lie away.” he shakes his hand dismissively, “But you know deep down that you wore that dress to draw attention to your biological assets passed down from your dear mother. Maybe it wasn’t an entirely conscious choice, but the laws of attraction work in strange ways.”

“I don’t follow.” I lie, my throat tight with pain and the rising sickness inside me. 

“Another lie. But I’ll indulge you.” Izaya assures and sits up, drawing himself across the table and closer to me. “Your body is reacting in a way your brain doesn’t exactly like but will subconsciously allow because it can’t fight its own primal instincts. You wear clothing that will appeal to the human taste. Physical attraction isn’t something we can completely control, so don’t fret it, but you’re playing right into the very same ideal all humans do.” his smile is poisonous. “But to top it off, you’re denying it. Lying about it. It’s almost pitiful.”

He pulls away just as the door opens but it doesn’t stop my face from flaring up with a deep scarlet blush. He was so close to me- and I didn’t even flinch.

Was I really just playing into my instincts? Dressing in something form fitting? Was I…

Am I attracted to Izaya Orihara?

 

The flash in my mind reveals something that feels like it was weeks ago- a memory of the Major Arcana card, The Lovers. 

A union. 

With Izaya Orihara. 

Fear grips me violently and I stand abruptly, nearly running into Simon as I do so, but my body reacts before I can recognize what I’m doing.

My fist flies toward Izaya, coiled and ready and increasingly painful as I slug him across the face. 

I only get one in because I had the element of surprise and he didn’t expect it, his smile turning to one of amusement and a deep emotion that is burning beneath his entire body, flaring in his aura. I can see it as it devours his features, drowning the monotone in colour so saturated it hurts to look at.

I’ve awakened something I couldn’t even begin to hope for an escape from. 

Simon grabs me before I can punch Izaya again and I stop fighting, shaking my head.

“I’m done. I’m leaving. Sorry for the trouble, Simon.” I clarify but he doesn’t release me, his warm eyes flickering to Izaya, who has his fingers pressed to his cheek- where a brand new bruise is flowering and bringing color to his face. A deep, dark purple to destroy the neutral colouration he is typically seen wearing. 

A change. Unexpected. 

The Tower flashes in my mind and I try my best to deny it’s importance. This can’t be what was coming, I refuse to believe this is what will turn his world upside down- especially romantically. 

However, with the purple splotch I recognize something new.

His eyes- the clean, dark coloured iris’ are- in fact- not black, as I had originally thought. Now, with the brand new bruise on his cheek, I realize they are a burning wood dark brown.

The colour sticks to my mind, smoldering against my skin. I can’t shake it, even after Simon escorts me out with a worried frown.

Even after I’m at home tucked in my bed.

And especially not in my sleep. The colour is still there. Bright and burning and all consuming.

With me, right in the middle, drowning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll get the hang of writing these characters, I promise. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> \- Viri


	4. Colliding

I don’t even want to think of Izaya Orihara. As soon as I do, I’m immediately consumed with anger. 

Thankfully, I haven’t heard from him since the other day. I hadn’t even taken the time to let myself focus on what happened. Only later, two hours or so after the incident had I realized what I had done. But I wasn’t going to bother apologizing. 

Not yet, anyways. 

Mostly because I wasn’t completely sure what brought me to hit him in the first place. Anger, of course. But there was something else, something deep and hidden from my daily and wandering mind that I couldn’t place. It haunted beneath my thoughts, underneath the belly of my consciousness.

My wounds were healing faster than I had anticipated but the pain and bandages still remained. I was glad to have had some kind of reminder that it had actually happened- from the pain in my hand to the stinging in my stomach that spiked with hurt that made me cringe if I turned the wrong way.

I was both elated and disappointed, if I was honest with myself. Elated because I’d stuck some part of it to Izaya. I wasn’t to be toyed with like others. 

Disappointed because now this brought on a whole new terror. I’d punched Izaya. No one really got away with that unscathed. I was paranoid and it only grew with each passing minute he didn’t arrive at my doorstep. 

I should have controlled myself better. Kept a tighter grip on my emotions- even if I hadn’t thought to punch him, it was like a gut reaction. I didn’t think it. I hadn’t planned it. 

I just did.

Just like when I had apparently been trying to call him when I was attacked. 

 

I didn’t understand. It was strange and unnerving and confusing- which was never a good mixture. 

I hadn’t touched my tarot cards since, different parts of myself at war for the reason why. I wanted to believe it was because I didn’t need to use them. There were no burning questions they could guide me to answers for. Which was a complete and utter lie.

And other parts suggested differently. They could have been right, before. With giving Izaya the Tower card and me punching him. And giving me the Lovers card and then what happened with Izaya. 

Was I attracted to him? 

I didn’t know.

And, at last, there was a part of me that was upset with them. Irrationally angry at a force I couldn’t control for simply doing what they were made to do- supply answers for the path I so happened to be on. To guide.

I was indignant. Who’s side were they on if they were going to guide me right into Izaya’s plans? 

The rational part of my brain understood they were on no side. They simply were. 

The irrational side was childish and petty.

Nevertheless, I tried to run my shop in peace. To ignore the bliss and paranoia and anger and just accept what had happened. 

It was doing just fine until a certain someone stopped into my store.

It wasn’t Izaya, both to my displeasure and relief, but the blonde bartender from before. He perused the shelves as if actually interested, hardly paying attention to me at all.

Did he not recognize me? Surely he must not have- his eyes did not light up with recognition when he turned to ask me a question.

“Not that I buy into this stuff,” he began, his brown eyes scanning wearily across the store, “But can I ask you something?”

“Of course. How can I help you?” I asked, nodding. He must not have recognized me. 

So I didn’t mention we’d seen each other before. Not until he did, at least.

“Do you have anything that can...God, this is stupid…” he muttered, struggling to ask as his hand rubbed the back of his neck. “Calm someone? I don’t know, forget it-” he began and turned toward the door.

I reached out and gently grabbed his elbow, offering an understanding smile when he turned his gaze to me with a wall of unease.

“It’s alright. You don’t have to be so nervous, sir. A lot of others do not understand a lot of the work that I do because they were raised against it. But yes, there are things that can calm others or yourself.” I smiled gently and released his elbow, walking over to a display. 

He silently followed and watched me as I picked up a small bottle of Frankincense. “This is Frankincense. It’s used to calm and promote feelings of peace and relaxation. Even better, it’s an herbal remedy and has nothing to do with this magic stuff, so you don’t have to worry.” I uncapped the lid and dabbed a little bit on my finger, extending the bottle toward him.

He sniffed it cautiously and I glanced up to his gaze expectantly.

“That smells…..Nice.” he offered, his face a plate of scattered emotions. 

“May I see your wrist?” I asked and when he offered his arm toward me, I set the bottle down and turned his hand so his palm faced up. “A little bit on your wrist should help calm you and promote relaxation. If you find yourself needing such, just a simple wiff should do.” 

Slowly I ran the finger with a few drops of the oil on his wrist, letting his skin soak it in. 

After that was done, I passed the now closed bottle to his hand, folding his fingers over the round glass. 

“Take it,” I grinned, “Please.” 

“I can’t do that-” he began but I pushed his hand away.

“It’s on the house. If you ever need to be calm, consider this a gift. If it works, you can come back and purchase more. If it doesn’t, you won’t have paid a dime for it.” I grin and he nods slowly, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.

“Thanks.” he mutters before he stuffs the bottle into his pocket and walks out the door. 

If anything, it’s a gift for the last time he saved me from Izaya- after the cafe. It was him after all who chased him off, although he probably knew nothing of it. He didn’t recognize me, so the gift was given without complete understanding. 

Still...The flashes of an intense brown I get when I see Izaya make me shiver. His eyes, no longer black and bleak but now brown and all consuming in a rage of emotion…

Too late did I realize his target. I only have one final bleating hope to cling to- even if it is slightly unorthodox. Whomever the blonde bartender is, be it an old friend or enemy to Izaya, is one of the only ways I can see myself getting out of his grip. If I allied myself with him, it is possible I might still have a chance to escape the storm brewing on the horizon. 

+

 

It’s a Thursday three weeks later with my paranoia locking me indoors when Izaya finally arrives. The simple three knocks at my door isn’t enough to alert me but as I open it and see who it is- I try to shut the door.

“Ah, ah, ah~” Izaya laughs, stopping me from shutting it as he pushes his way in. “Now is that any way to treat your guest?”

“Get out.” I snap, my lips curling over my teeth. “I want nothing to do with you.”

With a false gasp and mock pain, Izaya puts his hand to his chest, a small, fake frown forming on his lips. “You wound me, truly.” he sighs and in the blink of an eye, he’s fine again.

I want to threaten to call the cops. I want to cry and scream and run.

But I don’t. 

Instead, I watch him with daggers shooting from my eyes, holy hell ripping into his flesh. If I could kill him with only one glance, I’m sure this time he would be dead four times over.

“If looks could kill~” he mocks, glancing around my apartment. “You’re starting to hurt my feelings, Raine. Avoiding me, not bothering to apologize for that awfully painful punch you landed quite a bit ago.”

“Have you considered I’m not sorry?” I quip, my gaze following him with each step he takes. 

“You’re a human with a conscience, Raine. Of course you feel sorry.” he grins, his brown eyes meeting mine.

They’re burning again.

I don’t like it.

“What do you want? Can’t you stay out of my life?” I growl, forcing myself to remain where I stand. Any movement and he’s sure to strike.

“This is the part where you get your final words out, isn’t it?” Izaya jokes, shaking his head. “Go on, read me the riot act. I’m all ears now that I’ve been the bigger person and come to see you.”

“Get out.” I point to the door and it takes everything I have to keep from shaking. 

“Don’t be so hostile.” he holds up his hands defensively. “I’ve called off your debt to me, so I’m here on good terms...For the most part.”

My silence allows him further time to speak. Unfortunately.

“Ever since you hit me, I’ve been thinking.” Izaya continues on, lounging on my couch finally, propping his feet up on the coffee table as he pats the cushion next to him. 

Reluctantly, I take the farthest one from him. 

He flashes me a false pout. 

“That’s never a good thing.” I prod, sneering at the thought of him thinking. 

“That’s not a very nice thing to say. However Raine, it’s snide comments of that sort that left me to originally believe you weren’t any better than other humans.” 

What was that supposed to mean?

“At first I thought nothing much of you, to be honest. You were plain. Simple. Just some human woman with a silly fantasy for being more than she was.” Izaya sighed and scooted closer to me on the couch, his arm resting across my shoulders, trapping me between the arm of the couch and his body. “But as I watched you, I learned that wasn’t the case at all. You began to do things I hadn’t expected you to do, a trend of eradication throughout your behaviour. So I sat back and I watched. I waited. And then I encountered you and you were simply...what’s the word I’m looking for?” he tilted his head to and fro, holding his chin before he snapped his fingers and turned to me with those burning brown eyes again. “Ah, engaging, that’s it!”

It takes me a moment or so to overcome the confusion and pure shock of his word choice.

Not to mention his uncomfortable closeness. I couldn’t even dream of trying to shift away from him. He’s got me cornered. One arm resting across my shoulders while the other angles and keeps me still, his hand practically gripping the arm of the couch. 

The only way to sit without pain is to face him. 

“Engaging?” I repeat, barely able to hear my own voice as he nods in agreement. 

“Yes, engaging. You’re a clever girl, Raine. There are some other attributes, that pull others to you, of course,” His eyes flicker over me, smoldering and lustful, bringing up a sense of nausea. “But you’ve got a certain something I just can’t escape. So I’ve come to a conclusion and honestly, I can’t think of anyone better.” his grin widens as I process his words- even through the confusion, his comment about my body was enough to bring a blush to my cheeks. 

“Better for what?” I manage, just a small whisper against his powerful voice.

“That, you’ll have to find out. This can’t all be handed to you, it would be an unfair advantage, after all.” Izaya grins- a wider, more sinister grin- and leans closer to me, his face only inches away. “Now it’s time for you to do a little sleuthing, Raine. Dig deep within yourself and even deeper in the world around you. If you can figure out what I’m proposing, I’ll even throw in something a little extra.” 

His hand reaches toward my face and I instinctively lean away and swat at him, a glare beginning to form on my face.

What is it that he wants? 

He called me engaging, claimed I was interesting and he couldn’t think of anyone else that would be better for it. 

His burning brown eyes remained glued to my face- their presence creating a great unease within me.

“You can’t be-” I begin to protest, piecing together the information I’ve collected since meeting him, when suddenly a shrill noise breaks through the silence- a phone, ringing. 

“Ah, out of time.” Izaya sighs as he whips out the device demanding his attention. “This isn’t completely over, however. I’ll be in touch.” 

And with that, he’s gone. A shadow stalking back through my door, without even so much as a footprint to prove he was here. 

I take a few moments to breathe and collect my thoughts. He couldn’t possibly have been leading up to what I thought he was, was he? 

The Lovers card flashed in my mind again and I ground my teeth. Izaya? And Me? _Together?_

Was I the only one who saw that as a bad, bad idea? 

I told myself we were two very different elements, fire and water, earth and air- never to mix unless there was an absolute death wish.

Our grouping would be catastrophic. Little else would be able to survive. 

Then again...Maybe that was what he was after. 

 

+

 

I didn’t want to hear the thoughts that came with the name Izaya Orihara. The small talk others mentioned, the buzz about town..But I couldn’t escape it and turning an ear to it would only result in learning nothing, so I listened. 

Customers spoke, strangers on the street observing random encounters, conversing about this and that. Izaya’s name only came up in terms of whom to stay away from, whom it was that lurked in those spaces and one surprisingly popular and hurtful rumor. 

“I heard about that poor girl Raine. Stabbed because of her debts to _him_.”

“I saw them together. They looked in a rush. Maybe it was a fling? Oh! Do you think that Shizuo is involved in it?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him to ruin other relationships out of spite. Especially Shizuo’s. They’re both fairly scary, though. What with all the fighting they do.”

Shizuo? Was that the blond man? It had to have been but I was too sickened to move and ask. 

So instead, I pushed my way through the crowd further. Ignoring their words and the stings that reached far beyond layers any bandage was able to patch, I tried to run as far from the name Izaya Orihara as sunshine sixty would let me. 

I was dating neither of them. There were no flings. No love triangles. I was just an unfortunate target for one of the most dangerous men in Ikebukuro. And from the sound of it, word had gotten out. 

Would this affect my business? It would sure spread further- and give me unwanted attention from those who were crossed by Izaya, that much I did know, but to what extent? Could they ignore the chance to spring an attack against him through me? Even without the connections others were talking about?

However...He did suggest those connections be more than rumours, from what I could gather.

I felt sick. The feeling grew deep within me as I ducked in an alley, forcing air into my lungs. They felt tight, constricted. How was I supposed to take all of this? The rumours? His suggestion? 

The card? 

I wasn’t in love with Izaya Orihara, not by a long shot, but it appeared our fates were intertwined with an unbreakable thread. 

I refused to think of its colour. To think of its meaning. Because whether or not I liked it, I was tied to Izaya Orihara. Whether or not that knot was red or a different colour, I wasn’t sure.

And as of now, I would do almost anything to break that tie. Be it with scissors or a flash of a bloodied knife, I would do the best I could to break every last thread that connected the two of us. 

Clearing my mind, I pulled the rest of myself together and walked out of the alley with a more determined step. Rumours could be what they were. So long as they stayed there, I could squash them. I could handle them. They were no issue. 

An easy fix...For the most part. The real question was how to squash those rumours before I paid the price for them being existent at all?

There was a thought that had begun to solve the issue running through my brain before it was washed over with an incredible sense of surprise and hope upon seeing whom I had in the crowd.

Blond hair. Tall. 

Bartender suit. 

Shizuo. 

How could I approach him? He didn’t know my name and so far believed I didn’t know his name- we weren’t anything more than two people who had taken up one small transaction at my store. I counted out the time he saved me from Izaya at the cafe due to his lack of memory on the incident, but it still drowned out all other thoughts in my mind.

The way out of Izaya’s reach was through Shizuo, that much was clear upon speculation. The other burning question that prevented that was; _How_? 

Despite that one transaction of sorts, we weren’t at all acquainted. I couldn’t approach him with his name, that would be fishy. Although a lot of others seemed to know his name, it would be more than presumed coincidence that I would know it…

Struggling, I let him slip further into the crowd, watching as he drifted farther and farther from me. I would need him, eventually, but now was not the time I did. 

And back to square one. Alone on the streets of Ikebukuro, without so much as a clue as to what my next move would be. Trapped in a standstill with Izaya Orihara in his game of chess. 

Playing for my peace-- and my piece on the board. My safe mindset so I could rest easy. And my place in the world and the game of life. Without fear or worry about the mess I had been dragged into. Without concerns for my livelihood and my business. 

That's all I wanted. To run a business nice and smoothly in Ikebukuro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just what is he proposing here?


	5. Blind Beliefs

Night had fallen before my eyes could lift from the ground as I walked along the streets, the moon nothing more than a sliver of light in the darkening sky. Paling in comparison to the bright city lights, it still hung high above the world, gleaming down at the false human imitations. Sure, the city might be brighter but the moon had always been there. Patient and content. 

And alone. 

 

I hadn’t heard the footsteps when I had stopped walking. Nor did I feel the people around me as I usually did. One minute I was staring at my reflection in the night sky, pale and alone, surrounded by darkness and the next minute I was among humans once more, trapped in a triad of three men. 

Their features blurred as they circled me, making small talk I didn’t care to listen to, comments that I was sure were meaningless to bother with- but their enclosing prowling around me gave little to defend against hearing what they had to say. 

I caught phrases between my panic and strategy, forcing myself to angle so I could perhaps find a way out- 

“Well, so it seems you are her, aren’t you?” one of them spoke up. “Raine, right? Strange little girl. Getting caught up in the big dog’s yard.” 

“It isn’t a place for you. I can tell you that right now.” 

I didn’t bother answering.

“However, you’re here and we’ve got the ball in our court. You’ll have to excuse our poor manners. We just can’t let this opportunity slip pass by.”

“It’s not often we get the chance to strike against Izaya, after all. It’s a shame he chose someone so weak, though. I doubt you’d even put up a fight.”

Okay. So maybe I would answer.

 

“I don’t know what you’ve been told or what you’ve heard, but me and Izaya are not together.” I spat, the words like acid on my tongue. “Not now and not ever.” 

“She can lie just as easily as he can. Maybe she’s one of those more sneaky types.” another chirped up as they closed their ranks, encircled around me.

I wasn’t about to be trapped now. Not by these punks and definitely not because they thought I was dating Izaya. 

 

Silently cursing Izaya in my head, I readied myself to plow through them- aiming at the weaker and smaller one. If I could just get enough force behind me, I was sure I could break through them with enough time to get a head start. If I had the element of surprise and their reflexes weren’t so good, I could get maybe a second or two running start. 

I concentrated, carefully lifting myself to steady on my feet without letting any of them know what I was up to- and then I bolted. 

I had been right to assume the smallest one would be weakest. I dashed straightforward and plowed over the tinier human and straight back the way I had been walking. 

I only had a few seconds to get a full start, however, and my stomach had just decided now would be a wonderful time to twist in pain. 

Running through the stinging and burning, I pushed myself farther from the group- even though I could hear them close behind, in pursuit. If I could just run fast enough-

I turned corners, weaving in and out of groups of people as I passed by them. Sharp turns and zig zagging seemed to help give me more space to work with and shortly after they fell a few steps behind. 

It wasn’t enough space for mistakes or to slow down, sadly, which my stomach reminded me of as I clambered down the subway stairs, taking two at a time. Even if I could lose them in the crowd, I would still have to slow because of the mass of people. Besides, I didn’t exactly blend in. My only hope was stopping them with a crowd of people- enough so to get out of their sight and hide. Or run more. 

I hadn’t decided which was a better idea.

“Get her! Don’t let her get away!” I heard them call, orders barking out to catch me as they noise of the subway swallowed us. 

We were surrounded by people. Waves of human bodies filed in and out of subway cars, bustling about their ways. 

I scanned for the nearest exit. Besides the way I came, I was out of options for staying in this part of the city. The exit was nowhere to be seen, only signs leading down the corridors and tunnels of the subway. 

Fortunately, there was a closing subway car with just enough space and time for me to squeeze in. 

Without further hesitation, I scrambled to the subcar and squeezed myself in just as the doors shut- buying myself more time and dirty looks from the group in pursuit. 

 

Adrenaline coursed through me but it wasn’t enough to keep me standing. I practically collapsed into the closest empty chair, ignoring the looks and glances I got as I tried to contain my breathing and the pain. I couldn’t think I was out of this yet. They would be right behind me and I had no idea where I was even headed.

I tried to make sense of the map on the subcar wall, but it only showed the underground railing schedule- completely missing out on the bigger parts of the city. 

My mind spun frantically, thoughts and anger and pain shooting through it like lightning. There was hardly anything I could make sense of in this state. It was terrible, really. Absolutely horrid to try and formulate your next plan of action when you could hardly see straight. 

When the subcar came to a stop, I decided it was better to not get off at the station. Not only was I not ready to admit I was too tired to stand, but the idea of fighting the onslaught of new arrivals made every bone in my body ache. I just couldn’t handle it. Not right now.

Besides, wouldn’t they suspect I would get off at the first stop? Then they’d really find me. And I wasn’t prepared to play right into their hands. 

So….Maybe the next stop would be a great place to get off at. Not because my body ached- okay, mostly because of that, but also because the map on the wall around that area looked vaguely familiar. 

It was only twenty minutes away. 

I closed my eyes, resting them only for a few minutes. I had to stop the spinning in my head, had to grasp onto the lip of the chair to anchor myself to reality. Between the previous burst of adrenaline and the pain, I was a whisked into a state of complete confusion and exhaustion. 

 

I shouldn’t have shut my eyes. When I finally stirred to consciousness, I was one of the only ones left in the subcar. I had missed my stop by a long shot and now I was in a completely new part of town. I didn’t recognize any of it. There were bigger buildings here that held fancier and expensive offices and living spaces, advertising for prices that were low for this area- but far too high out of my reach for me to even dream of living here.

Clumsily, I stood and walked to see the deep dark colour of the night sky. The air was cold and brisk now, the late evening settling in. 

My mind fuzzed too much for me to think straight, the events of the day playing over and over. So much had happened- I couldn’t keep track of it all. 

It wasn’t until I felt the hands on me that I turned back to reality with a vengeance. Someone had grabbed a hold of my shoulder and instantly I spun out of their grasp. With a growl, I spun, swatting away at their hand. 

In retrospect, I had the intent to kill. But really I only looked like a little kid having a fit of terror. 

Even more so when I turned and stared right into the burning brown gaze of Izaya Orihara.

“Izaya?” I breathed, my eyes widening in surprise. Questions filled my brain- but only one really made it through the filter that I wasn’t able to stop. “Are- are you really here?”

His smirk was all that I needed to know that now I had only intrigued him more. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were happy to see me.” he said superficially, his words empty space. They filled the air around us, swirling around like a curtain and distancing us from the rest of the world. His presence consumed me until the entirety of the earth fell away around us. 

In that moment, with my exhaustion and his interest, we were alone. 

And that was anything but good. Terrifying, shocking and confusing? You bet. Good? I doubted it. Nothing good came from Izaya Orihara.

“While I would love to sit and dwell on that, I’m very curious to know how you found yourself in this part of town.” his question was in between his words, hidden. 

Part of me wondered if I had come looking for him. The question, deep and hidden in his burning gaze rose through the smoke of our little private moment. Sheltered by his social standing, this moment was almost intimate in its entirety. Alone but together at night on a street-- We almost looked like a couple-- and _that_ was completely terrifying. Realization washed over me in the proximity between us and I knew. I knew that without a doubt I was prey in his hands. Trapped. He was lurking, waiting. A cat toying with its prey before striking.

A sense of dread overwhelmed me, cloaking me in it’s embrace. 

“I…” I lost words. I lost thought. My mind reminded me how I had gotten here and why- but was this something I really wanted to tell him? People were seeing us together again. Oh god. The rumours. The lies. 

So many terrible things had already spread from Izaya and into my life. 

And I realized now, as it was too late, I could do nothing about it. Izaya invaded. He never asked permission, never treaded lightly. His path was one of burning bridges and destruction- shadows and broken pieces in his path. He let his chips fall where they would because it interested him. He planned and connived and now...

I was just another target, waiting to be devoured.

“I have to go.” I murmured and quickened my pace, trying to escape.

 

There are several reasons why that was a bad idea. 

One, no one walks away from Izaya. Not completely. Not that easily.

Two, I was exhausted and my body had found the time to realize I had used every last bit of energy just trying to breathe.

I tripped, my body heavy and unable to react properly. I braced as much as I could for the impact, knowing it would only hurt more when I landed. 

But just as quickly as I had tried to escape, Izaya was there to stop me. 

“You’re don’t look alright, Raine.” he sighed softly. “And while it’s not my schtick to go and offer a hand to any poor soul about to pass out in the street, you and I need to have a good, long talk about a few things.”

“No,” I began weakly, attempting to push away from Izaya as he pulled me to my feet completely, his arm wrapping around my waist as he began to walk. 

I was held to him. My new prison dangerously close.

I had no energy to fight. It was taking everything I had to just remain awake as he guided me through the streets. My eyes watched the ground as we walked, my mind concentrating on one step at a time. If I counted them, I could make it a little longer. 

Izaya’s body was warm in the cold night air, despite his jacket remaining open to the chill. It revealed his dark shirt beneath, a replica of the one he had lended me. For a minute I wondered if he had many of the same kind and type. If that was true, he certainly wouldn’t miss the one I had buried deep in my bedroom closet, tucked secretly into the bottom of a dresser I swore I wouldn’t open. 

So far, I had restrained myself from opening it. I hadn’t even thought about it until now. 

The rumbling of Izaya’s humming vibrated into my skin, his song lost but nonetheless heard. It was a happy tune- or so I guessed by his sickening glee as he hummed it- that reminded me of when I was younger. 

It was then I decided he was far too happy to lead me somewhere unknown and I was exceedingly too tired to fight it. He could kill me at any moment. End my life with the flash of a blade- but his words made themselves back into my brain, a memory from before.

He had said he couldn’t think of anyone better suited for something. Something involving him. 

And now I remembered what I had thought it was. The only question on my mind now was if Izaya enjoyed torturing things he found interesting and...Engaging. 

My mind couldn’t handle that. Thoughts blurred with darkness and from one blink to the next, I was out cold. 

I don’t remember when I stopped walking. 

I don’t remember what happened after. Not even a dream surfaced in my memory. 

All I knew was that when I woke up, I was not in my home and certainly not in my bedroom. 

I was laying down on a comfortable couch, the black leather smooth and soft against my skin- and immediately I could tell it was expensive. To put such craftsmanship inside one piece, even as sturdy as leather could be, typically told me it was a higher price than I would ever consider possible to purchase. 

I took the time to think things through for a minute or so, feeling oddly angry at having to wake up on a couch I didn’t recognize again. When I had recollected myself enough to work up the energy to move, several things happened. 

I realized immediately that my bandages and wounds still hurt just as much as they had before and sleep had done nothing but made them sore. It was pitiful, really, to be in so much pain from even just running that small bit. I was more angry at myself for not having taken pain medication at the first opportunity. 

The second thing I realized was that it was completely quiet. Only the slight, muffled noise of a vent producing air somewhere out of sight could be heard. 

I hurried into a sitting position, my senses on edge as I looked around. 

This was not my house. That much had been discovered already. A large flat screen television was mounted to the wall a few feet in front of me, it’s black screen giving me a good enough reflection to tell me I looked absolutely terrible. 

It was a sleek and modern room- very nice, but much too...Standoffish for my comfort. Books lined the shelves in almost every concrete wall- save for the walls that had ceiling to floor windows with a beautiful sight of the city.

How had I gotten up here? Hadn’t I…

Izaya. He must have carried me. Or guided me here. This must be where he lived. But if that was so- where was he?

As I stood something on the coffee table caught my eye. A piece of folded paper lay there, stuck under a game of some kind with all sorts of strange pieces. 

Unable to decipher the game, I ignored it and picked up the paper and read it carefully. 

 

_We’ll talk more later._

 

There was nothing more. Just a simple note with four short words. I had no doubt who they were written by but nevertheless, a chill ran down my spine. 

The sun was shining bright outside on the city. It had to at least be late morning. Even checking my phone had clarified that much. 

How long had I been asleep? Unconscious...Under Izaya’s watch…?

Panic surged through me again and I scrambled to check for new wounds- any sign that something bad had happened. 

Nothing was out of place on my person or in my purse, which settled my nerves only a little bit. 

But staying in the empty apartment didn’t sit well with me. I couldn’t just stay here. I wasn’t one for snooping around-- not that I wanted to sit and wait for Izaya, that is. I really, really didn’t.

Right….?

He said we’d talk later, so I took that as enough of a sign to dismiss me from his residence-- even with him not there.

Anxious, I left. I double checked to make sure I had everything and secured the lock on the door before I let it close. When it did, the sound vibrated through my being and I imagined it was very much like I was shutting the door on Izaya himself. He could not make me stay or tell me what to do, no matter how hard he tried. I had already decided that. 

Besides.. I didn’t want to stay there any longer than I had to. I didn’t want to touch anything. I didn’t want to give him any more reason to come back to me. 

He would stay behind that closed door. 

I would make sure of that.

 

+

 

I don’t often think things through. Sometimes I become so focused on one thing, I forget entirely about the little details that make a big difference.

Such as figuring out where I was before I started marching down the street triumphantly. 

I was so caught up in sticking it to Izaya, I had gotten myself lost in the area near his apartment. 

More angry at myself than anything, I began the journey home. Should I be worried about those men from last night waiting for me?

More panic seeps into my bones with each step toward the train station. Sure, I could get off at the stop closest to my home and shop but what if they were waiting for me? Did they even know where I lived?

Oh gods...What about any customers that may be waiting for the store to open? Would those men hurt them?

I was filled with a new sense of determination. Anyone could threaten me until they were blue in the face- but mess with my customers and you would face my wrath. I don’t care who you are or what your standing is with the world but my customers were to be safe in my establishment. Metaphysically, physically- by any and all means, I had done my best to create a safe haven. 

And I wasn’t about to let some lowlifes mess that up.

 

I let my anger build up on the train ride to my shop. It blazed beneath my skin, echoing my thoughts in a fury of smoke and embers. I was ignited with fury, smoldering to the touch.

Or so I felt. 

Nevertheless, I marched with purpose to my store, turning the corner fully prepared to face some hoodlums when I stopped in my tracks.

There were no thugs waiting for me. 

Of course, there wasn’t a mass of people waiting in line to get in, either, but the one person standing outside shocked me. 

Blond. Bartender suit. Interesting periwinkle coloured sunglasses..

Shizuo Heiwajima.

All my anger blinks away the second he turns to meet my gaze. 

“Ah, I remember you.” he calls out, taking a cigarette from his mouth and stomping it out on the concrete. “You own this store, right?”

“Y-Yeah.” I nod meekly, confusion settling into my voice as I force myself to step toward him and my store. “I- I was half expecting thugs outside my door. I’m sorry if I seem startled-”

“Thugs?” he asks, quirking a blonde brow. 

“Uh, yeah.” I shouldn’t have mentioned it. What would he care? “No big deal. Just some people playing pranks.” 

I shrug it off and turn away from him as I unlock the door. 

“It’s good to see you again. Did you need something?” I ask happily and try to ignore the settling fear in my stomach. I can’t help but feel as if I’d just dodged a bullet...Or three.

“Oh, yeah.” he seems to remember only a second after. “I came for more of that scented oil.” 

“Oh? Is it safe to assume it worked out well for you?” 

Another happy customer? The thought fills me with glee.

“Yeah, sort of. Plus I just like it.” he shrugs it off as it’s no big deal. 

“Well, there is more where it came from! Please, step right in.” I smile and step aside to let him in the store, turning on the lights as I go. “Take your time.”

“Alright.” 

As he browses the store, I take the time to calm myself down. 

No thugs, no problem, right? There were no signs that anyone was here at all before him--

Did he scare them off? He hadn’t mentioned anyone else being there, but gods only know how long he was standing there. It could have been minutes or hours….

Had they seen him and run off? 

 

...Had anyone else seen him? 

What rumours would spread now? First in the mix with Izaya and now with Shizuo? 

I wanted to cry. To scream in frustration at the wrongness of what was happening. It wasn’t fair-- I hadn’t done anything but try and enjoy a nice quiet life running a metaphysical shop. What had I done to deserve this unwanted attention? 

Maybe I was just a magnet for this kind of disaster. That had to be it.

Without displaying any outwardly signs of my internal stress, I plastered a smile on my face as I went about my daily morning routine. 

“I don’t think we ever got a moment to properly introduce ourselves.” I called and glanced over towards him. “My name is Raine Kulson. And you are?”

“Shizuo Heiwajima. It’s nice to meet you.” he nodded and I smiled happily. 

“Likewise!”

Always maintain a happy business posture and attitude outwardly. It’s important for a positive business reputation.

I booted up the computer and turned to see how many messages were left on the phone-- a three in total, but I could check those after Shizuo left. 

 

“I, uh, hear you do readings as well.” he called as I started to straighten up the store. “Would this be something you could do for me? How much is it?”

Shizuo Heiwajima? Interested in a tarot reading? 

“Thirty dollars for thirty minutes, or fifteen for fifteen. They are tarot readings-- if that is something you’re interested in?” I asked and quirked a brow in his direction. I did my best to hide my smirk at his slight blush but one can only do so much in the face of something such as that.

A grown man struggling to hide the pink dust on his cheeks is kind of adorable, you have to admit. 

“Perhaps. Word on the street is you’ve got an uncanny ability. I couldn’t help but be curious about it.” he shrugged and continued browsing.

“Word on the street? I had no idea I had become so popular among Ikebukuro. Unless you’ve passed by one of my many satisfied customers. They’ve all come back telling me about all their happy endings with the information and guidance I helped provide.’

“They speak of you highly. A few of them passed by the store when I was waiting. You’ve been gone for a little while, I take it?”

I freeze. My regulars had come by but saw I hadn’t opened...He didn’t mention the thugs, though….So I’d bet that they were fine. 

Still…

“You talked to them?” I asked and turned toward him fully, my attention now focused on him.

“Sorta.” Shizuo glanced toward me, his eyes focusing on me from behind his light lenses. “Just small talk here and there.”

I nodded slowly and turned toward the area designated for readings. “Would you like to judge my ability for yourself, then?” I gestured toward the area.

“Couldn’t hurt. I’ll take a thirty minute reading.” Shizuo followed me as I beckoned him forth. 

“Alright. Sit there and shuffle these.” I began as I sat and passed him my deck. 

He takes them without a word and shuffles as I begin to talk. 

“There are a few things to keep in mind during this reading. One thing to keep in mind is to have a certain topic or question you feel you need guidance on. Something the cards can focus on helping answer for you. This also ties into the second thing you need to keep in mind-- You must keep an open mind. Without the willingness to accept this help and believe in it, then neither the cards nor I can help you.” 

I remembered the reading I gave to Izaya. Flashes of his grin and dark eyes surfaced in my mind and I repressed a shiver. I couldn’t think of him now. I needed to focus. 

Shizuo glanced toward me curiously as I paused and I offered a small smile in return. Right now I had to focus on him and the cards. This was my business, after all. I wouldn’t dare to offer anything else!

“That all?” Shizuo asked as he took off his glasses and tucked them in his vest pocket. He handed me back the cards carefully, waiting for further direction.

“Finally, as I’m sure you know, nothing is set in stone. What you are being told here through the cards is only an interpretation for this moment. The cards don’t set your path for you, they only shed some light on what could be down the road should you remain with the route you’re taking now. Do you understand?” 

Shizuo nodded and my smile grew as I fanned out the cards and presented them to him. 

“Wonderful. Pick three cards.”

 

Shizuo’s reading was just for the general life path. Guidance for his pending question of his path and if he was going the right way. The cards confirmed that he was indeed and needn’t worry-- but a fourth card had jumped up and called both of our attention as he had picked his third card. 

They were side by side but there was no denying the importance of a card that- for lack of a better word- ‘jumped’ to get our attention. 

“And now, the fourth card.” I nodded as the first three cards were read and carefully brought it forth without flipping it over. 

“What does that mean?” Shizuo asked and leaned forward, glancing at the fourth card before him.

“Sometimes when the cards have something important to say on a matter they will present more than the original cards picked. It’s a lot like a special message to cover the topic at hand. Just a coverage to clarify something on your mind. This could be a general overall to help further explain the answer from before or a new answer in itself-- In this case, only you will truly know.”

At this, Shizuo quirked a brow and sat back. He gave a short quick nod and stared at the cards. 

“Alright then. Let’s see it.”

 

The Wheel of Fortune appeared in all it’s glory.

 

“You’re in luck!” I cheered happily and pointed to the card, “This is the Wheel of Fortune, it’s a great card. It signifies a beginning of something new and positive. Like Karma is returning to you with good things in abundance.” 

“Returning with good things?” Shizuo asked curiously, his brown eyes scanning the card. 

“Mhm! It’s like a turning point. Whatever this is an answer to is showing you that yes, things are really starting to look up and you’re on the right path. Just wait and good things will come. You’re in good luck with the stars, Mr. Heiwajima.”

Shizuo sat back and thought for a moment, carefully picking up the card and studying it more in silence. 

 

“Seem’s I am. Also, Shizuo is fine.” he corrected and set the card back on the table as he stood. “Is it cool if I just call you Raine?”

“Of course!” I nodded and stood as well. “Did you still want some of that oil?”

“Oh, yeah.” Shizuo nodded and walked toward where the oil was. 

“I’m glad you had some questions answered and found the oil helpful. Even with just a liking to it’s scent.” I beamed as I rang up his order. “Please, feel free to come back any time.” 

“Sure. This card has the store number, right?” he asked as he picked one of them up and placed it in his wallet.

“Yup! Have a nice day!” I called after him after he left with his bag. 

Shizuo Heiwajima….An interesting name for an interesting man. 

I wonder...Would he be embarrassed to be seen by this store? Judging from how long he waited outside, I guessed he wouldn’t be.

I was happy to see he was more open to this kind of business now. He seemed to have a bit of an opinion change..

Did any of my regulars have to do with that?

The thought made me laugh as I began listening to the messages from before.

 

“Hello, Miss Kulson this is your landlord-” skip. Already dealt with earlier in the week. 

“Hi, Raine, this is Joan calling about your shipment order of candles--” skip. I’ll call her about it later. 

 

The emails carry on in a similar order, all concerning business in some way or another. 

Maybe it is possible to lead a peaceful life running a business. The worries and fears from earlier melt away. 

Out of sight, out of mind. For now, I’m good. The door has been shut, business returns….All is well. 

~

Okay I should really stop jumping the gun. Gods only know that once I feel comfortable with the current situation that it’s time to do a one eighty and turn everything upside down.

Just as I close the store and head home for a nice relaxing evening, my personal cell phone rings.

“Raine speaking, how may I help you?” I answer without thinking, my voice and mood chipper.

“You sound better than you did last night. I’m glad you’re recovering.” 

My mood plummets with the false image of comfort and serenity I’d held up until now. 

Izaya Orihara sits on the other end of the line, his smirk practically a sickeningly musical sound through his voice. 

“I’m getting there. I appreciate your concern, Mr. Orihara.” I manage, my voice void of any real emotion or attachment.

“Aw, don’t be like that.” Izaya mocks, “Do you really still think I’m so monstrous? Even after I helped your deranged and delusional self to a safe place? It’s not often I share that apartment’s location with anyone, Raine. One would think you’d be a little more thankful.”

“Funny thing about that is I don’t seem to remember ever getting there, so you’ll have to forgive any lack of gratitude.” I quip back, unable to hold my tongue.

“And who’s fault is that?” Izaya chirps, his voice taunting. He knows I can’t win this. He did nothing but help me and once again he has me cornered. 

He’s too close this time. I have no room to move. Completely trapped beneath his thumb, I am only left to squirm. 

My silence makes him laugh. The noise is jovial and carefree on the surface but underneath I can hear the control and sadistic tone. 

“If this were anyone else, I’m sure I wouldn’t find it as funny.” he sighs after a minute but quickly recollects. “Nevertheless, we need to talk. Come to Russia Sushi. I’m waiting ever so patiently for you, Raine.”

He hangs up without another word. His voice echoes in my soul, a damning noise that signifies my final hours.

The words from his note still burn through my mind. He was absolutely correct. We would talk more. He had also decided when and where-- letting me live my delusions of breaking free until he could swoop down and crush them to bits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still here! Just had to take a long break. But this is still happening!
> 
> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoy the story! :D 
> 
> \- Viri.


	6. Misunderstanding

Izaya is waiting in the same room as before. Sitting in the same spot. Wearing similar clothes. 

With that shit eating grin on his face. 

His burning brown eyes glance up as Simon leads me to the room wearily, his gaze reading the air between Izaya and I before he shuts the door with reluctance. 

I can hardly blame him. Not only am I locked in here with the devil himself, the last time this happened, violence had occurred. Our two souls and energies had mixed with drastic results. 

The answer was clear. We simply weren’t to mix any further. There was a dormant potential danger lying beneath any interaction we had, waiting, watching until it could flare. 

 

Gods only know how much it would damage the next time it fluctuated. What disaster would it upheave? How much chaos would it create? We were destruction incarnated when mixed together-- and Izaya seemed to be intent on exploiting that fact.

 

“Ah, there you are! I was beginning to think I’d have to come hunt you down myself.” Izaya chirped and simpered up at me, his posture completely relaxed. His hands splayed out before him, platters of sushi displayed around the table.

 

In the shadows of his face, I could see the remainder of the bruise on his cheek.

 

I would not feel guilty. 

 

“Come, sit.” Izaya grinned as gestured toward the space across from him where an empty plate was set in front of it. “I didn’t recall you ever mentioning what kind of sushi you liked and our last time here did get cut a bit short, so I ordered quite a bit to accommodate for your tastes.”

I would not feel guilty. I held strong to that ideal as I sat quietly, reluctantly obeying his wishes. As much as I hated it, this was a cavern of evil I couldn’t escape. I was trapped in his cage of lies and spider webs, trying my best to find a thread out of an escapable room. 

“Much appreciated.” I managed and my voice was very much the same as it had been when he had called me earlier. “You mentioned we needed to talk?”

Empty. 

False. 

I wanted him to know nothing of the terror I held in my heart for what he had planned for me. I had to hide the anger and stop giving him things to throw back in my face.

“Cold shoulder and straight to business. I can appreciate the willingness to cooperate but the lack of positivity in your words gives me a bit of a sour taste.” Izaya chided but said nothing more on the subject as he studied me. 

I didn’t bother answering. This was not the time to converse lightly. I wanted to know what it was he wanted. Any other distractions were unwelcome.

A heartbeat of silence passed between us, his deep, burnt earth brown eyes meeting my own lighter almond eyes. 

“Ah, well, can’t win them all. I’m glad we finally have a moment to talk.” Izaya sighed after a moment, his gaze returning to mine with a ferocious burning that sent a cold feeling down my spine. 

This was the look of someone who knew something. His energy spiked and whipped around, a rising of vibrations through the air that sent shockwaves of power. He knew. I wasn’t sure what it was but he knew-- The power he held within one stance was almost an overwhelming amount but I fought not to be intimidated by it. 

I would not fall so easily.

“Have you figured out what I was asking the other day? My offer? Or do I need to spell it out?” he taunted and I froze. 

His offer. Oh no. 

All previous built up confidence and defiant attitude shattered at the impossibility of his offer. The reminder was a wake up call I hadn’t wanted to receive-- a memory stuck to me no matter how hard I tried to fight it. 

Izaya’s smirk was sinister. The nausea brought on by it swept through my stomach roughly, my muscles clenching as I struggled not to puke up what food I had managed to keep down thus far. 

This was impossible. Izaya was impossible. To suggest such-- To even think that it would be alright to! I had done nothing to provoke his attention-- not anything that outwardly screamed ‘soon to be Izaya’s newest tortured trophy’, at least. I had lived a quiet life in Japan. I had tried to run a business that was simple and clean and honest.

And this is what I got for it. 

 

“I believe,” I finally managed, speaking around the rising bile in the back of my throat, “That I have an idea, at least.”

“An idea?” Izaya toyed and quirked a brow, his lips parting to release a small sigh of a laugh. “So in other words, you don’t want to say it.”

He was teasing me. That much I was sure of. It was ridiculous and hurtful and incredibly like Izaya to do so. 

The Lovers card appeared in my mind again and I bit back another wave of sickness through my stomach. Any more of this and I probably wouldn’t be able to take it. My wounds were against any real movement and after the past few days, I was honestly fine with throwing my life away to live under a rock. 

Thinking about it made it sound more plausible. No more Izaya, no more real danger. I could just not move and live under a rock. 

 

It would be fantastic. 

“The impossibility of it does factor into my refusal.” I whispered and my gaze fell from his eyes. I couldn’t bare to hold his traitorous gaze. To look into his burning soul as he devoured the entirety of my future. I didn’t want to be lost in his games if he was going to ruin my life. If anything, I’d want to enjoy the last few moments of reality I had left. 

“The impossibility?” he asked and for a moment I believed he had genuine curiosity behind his words. “What makes you think that?” 

 

“Would you just quit toying with me already?” I snapped, my anger rising once more as I faced the last minute or so of my clarity. If he was going to take over, I was going to fight. “You can’t honestly be that sadistic.”

Izaya’s brows rise in mock surprise, his eyes holding a glint of playful energy. 

“Oh?”

“Just quit it with the crap already, Izaya! I am sick of this ‘tell me everything I said so you can be embarrassed and ashamed by it’! I mean, really? I got the message. I received it. But why push me to repeat it? When does this game end?”

His eyes darken as I continue but I’m already too far ahead to back down. I have to say it. I have to get it out--

“I’m sure you don’t remember much of what’s happened in the last few days but since when I have been playing this ‘game’ with you?” Izaya challenged as he leaned forward on the table, his hands sliding further the slightest bit. “Go on. Give me your most honest answer. Think about everything that’s happened.”

His tone is no longer playful. It’s dark and dangerous-- just as Izaya Orihara is known to be.

“This entire time you’ve been playing this game! Ever since you walked into my store you started a game I have no idea how to play. You toy and you belittle and you laugh. I did nothing to you! Nothing to deserve this! And no matter how much I argue or ask, you are never going to tell me what it is that pulled us to meet!” I growled, slamming my hands down on the table with force. The sushi platters shook a little but nothing broke-- thankfully.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Izaya snapped back, his voice quick as lightening and as powerful as thunder. “Sometimes the answer can’t be said so simply.”

“Don’t even try to twist this and play this off as ‘fate’.” I growled, “I know a lot more about that then you do. Why are you being so difficult? What could I have possibly done to get your attention? I’m not even in the same underhanded and dirty business you are!”

“Ouch. Words hurt, Raine.” Izaya mocked. “And it seems you missed my offer entirely, from the sounds of it. As for how you and your straightforward and honest business got mixed with my supposed-- and with such an incredibly harmful word choice, I might add-- ‘underhanded and dirty’ line of work, you don’t seem to see it the same way I do. For as much as you might hate me, I have a fondness for you. No, really. You’re a human who eradicates from the norm and has a supposed ability for the gift of premonition. Originally, I considered it all a hoax and ignored the rumours. Until, however, word of you got around.” 

Ice. Cold, hard slivers of ice are shot from his lips and into my soul. His words turn the slimy feeling around my spine to pins and needles in my bones, anticipation and aggravation swirling beneath my skin. I am locked in his gaze, hypnotized by his words. 

“And?” I hiss, the words full of quiet anger. “So what?”

“A few clients of mine seemed to take a liking to you and your business. You were a temporary competitor, although unknowing. So I decided to drop in and see for myself this ‘gift’ of yours. I have seen it and while I may not be as die hard as a believer as others, you have some merit and talent. You aren’t half bad. You run a decent business, hold a high standing in the populace and have an uncanny ability with dealing with others. Even difficult people you’ve faced have seemed to find guidance in your services.”

“Fortune telling has nothing to do with information brokering.” I shook my head, not believing what I was hearing. “How could I have ever been your competitor?”

“People will do anything to get their greedy little hands on something that makes them feel above others. If that’s information, so be it. If that’s a fortune telling them about it, that’s another. But you weren’t quite ruining my work, so don’t misunderstand when I tell you this; You were showing my clients a side I never could have….And that’s where my offer stands.”

My heart stops. My head stops. Everything is in a standstill as I realize his meaning. 

He was never offering romance or physical connections. It was never about love or anything romantic at all.

A union. 

The Lovers.

The Tower.

 

A change.

 

“You’re offering me…..A business proposal?” I whispered, my voice only a wisp of what it had been only seconds before. Anger was washed about by realization. Embarrassment set in deep, clinging to my blood as it rushed about my skin and igniting it in a crimson blush. “You weren’t talking about a relationship?”

“A relationship?” Izaya repeats, his eyes widening with amusement. The brown colour is no longer dark and angry but light with hilarity. “You really are attracted to me, aren’t you?”

The nausea from before returns in full blast as I start to stand, ready to run from this entire life I have in Ikebukuro. 

I can’t believe the mistake I’ve made. The huge and completely misunderstood mistake. This whole time…

I was such a fool. I had read too far into his words and game. Too far into the cards and my own future that I was dead set on something that was to never happen. I had never stopped to think that this supposed union in my future was one without romance. I had always thought it had meant…

The rumours on the street. Izaya’s shirt….His inquiry about love in his reading--- was it all a joke? He had to have known the way he was twisting his meaning-- his words!!! 

I am such a fool. This entire time I thought I was battling being swept under by Izaya and he had played me the entire time. It was never about any real physical or romantic relationship. It had always been about business. 

Izaya was quicker to catch me than I was to collect myself. In what could have been minutes or seconds he was in front of the exit, blocking the way to the door. 

“Now, now, just because you’re embarrassed doesn’t mean you get to leave just yet. It’s really rude to just up and leave. We haven’t even made a deal yet.” Izaya sighed and guided me back to the table.

I was too shocked not to let him. My body followed as he gently directed me beside him on the ground. 

The energy waving off of him was warmer. Or maybe that was just his body heat?

“However, I’m not going to force you to give me an answer right here and now. I’ll give you time to think it over. But,” he continued, his eyes glued to my face as he spoke. From the corner of my eye I could just barely see him.

I knew without looking fully he was grinning. It was all teeth and no lips-- the grin of the devil. 

“Should you wait too long, I may have to come find you again.” he whispered as he drew closer, his breath warm on my skin. It misted down my neck, the puff of air furthering his point. 

I could not run. I could not hide. One way or another I would answer him.

And after that, I would fully be his to destroy as he saw fit. 

 

+

Izaya let me leave shortly after his last words. But no matter the space between him and I, I could still feel his burning gaze devouring the fringes of my existence.

Somehow I knew that he would know where I was. Not because he was an info broker and could find anything he wanted within minutes of searching but because he had tied me to him. There was the red thread of fate tied to our souls that he was following back to me. With his fabrications and twisted words he was spinning me back into his grasp time and time again. 

I couldn’t prove it but he had turned this all into his favor. He had thought it out-- played it out-- all to how he wanted it. Even with his claims of my exceptional anomaly and not following what he had thought I would do, he still knew.

It was strange to have someone else know what you were going to do. I felt suffocated. Destroyed. No matter how far I thought I could go, he could trace everything right back to me. He would follow. 

There was no end. 

 

Tears were streaming down my face as I lay in bed, thinking about the disaster that was now my life. 

I had played right into his hands by following his purposely confusing words. 

I had made a fool of myself-- not only in the fact of allowing myself to be distracted by his presence but also believing the lies he told me about the attraction to him.

But was that all a lie? It couldn’t have been-- but then again, it could have. 

Oh gods. I couldn’t even think straight. I didn’t know right from left or up from down.

Izaya Orihara had twisted me that badly. Manipulated me into his plans. 

His business proposal was not one I wanted to fully understand. To my discomfort, however, I did. 

He would spread word of my business further throughout the city and beyond it’s reach if I would also work with his more susceptible clients. Even if this meant lying to them about their fortunes. 

It wasn’t above Izaya. Not completely. 

 

And for as much as I wanted it to be possible, I couldn’t say no. If I did, gods only know what he could do to my business. He could destroy me and my tiny little shop. 

Was the destruction of my livelihood worth denying him? Was it worth throwing away just because I refused to deal with someone like him?

And on the other hand, was my business worth going along with this plan, no matter how deceitful it was?

My head hurt.

 

I needed sleep.

 

So sleep I did. 

 

Three days went by. I didn’t open the shop.

I didn’t leave home. 

 

I didn’t even answer the phone. 

 

Mostly because I was stuck and I knew it. 

 

Izaya knew it.

 

And at that point….Nothing else mattered. I could not give up my business. Nor could I lie about it. I wanted to be honest and truthful and there was no way to keep everyone happy when you were working for someone like Izaya. He wanted me to lie. And if he found out I wasn’t..He could obliterate my business.

If I denied his offer, I would meet the same fate. My business would be wiped from existence. My name soiled.

What else could I do?

 

I was playing in a yard I had no right too. Invited by one of the biggest players in Ikebukuro. Izaya himself had placed me here and told me to choose where to go. 

But I couldn’t choose.

And that wasn’t good. I was further captured in the mess Izaya had woven me into. Now a part of the bigger picture of his destruction as he took every factor of my life and soiled it with his fingerprints.

The imprint of his soul cast shadows across my entire existence. 

But I couldn’t make the choice. I couldn’t just say yes-- to run a dishonest business wasn’t something I could allow myself to do. If anyone ever found out I would never be trusted again. Everything I had built would be taken down. 

Sadness flooded my mind, drowning me beneath its embrace. There was nothing I could do. There was no escape, no running, no disaster-- nothing! My life now existed solely in the hands of Izaya, my future, my past, my present. He had tied me in a web of red thread so completely I had no hope to escape. 

The only option was to get away from everything. To end it once and for all. It was the only solace. To end my existence would end his control. He couldn’t overwhelm me in my life or take a stake in my business-- it would be solved. All of it..

 

But was that something I really wanted to do? If that was the only option...If all I could do was remove myself from life itself...What good would that do? My business could be carried on by someone else...My apartment taken care of. The cops would take care of my body….

Everything would be solved. I knew where I would go. I had no fear of death. And I knew without a doubt that Izaya couldn’t reach me from that side of the veil. 

 

It wasn’t something healthy humans do. Yet even as I remembered that, it didn’t help. 

 

I wasn’t healthy. I had no one to run to. No one could help me. I couldn’t get my parents involved...I had no real friends that would care enough to extend a hand. And of course I was single, so there were no significant others that would be distraught. 

There was only one thing I could do. 

It was the only answer. 

And I knew that. 

Days later, as I stood above the city looking down, I knew it. It was a cold grasp around my spine that coiled deep into my mind. Always there. Every shift and every breath touched by it’s icy existence, reminding me of the only possible answer.

The wind whipped around me. How had I never realized the warm and cold embrace of the air before? Had I never bothered to pay attention to the sounds of the city? The life so blatantly around me that it was practically alive itself, personified in every soul that managed to surface on this end of the spectrum. 

I would miss it. 

 

But this is no time for thinking of what I would miss. I had come up here to say goodbye to the city.To take one final glance at all it’s glory-- to see the strings of fate tied all across the board, see every breath and every soul bustling about. Each had their own problems. Connected in ways they would never notice. 

I had been a part of them for so long...I took it for granted. Now, looking out in the city to say goodbye, I was at the end of my rope. This was where it ended. I would not live out the rest of my days holding onto a rope tied to someone who only wished for my destruction. 

The only thing left….Was to destroy myself. To leave and cut the rope from life entirely.

I stepped toward the edge of the building, the wind cascading around my body like water around a rock. I was among a waterfall more ancient and powerful then I could ever hope to be. 

And I was going to let it take me away. Sweep my soul beneath its waves, chopping through this city. I too would learn to swim among its currents in invisible whirlpools of energy. 

My feet reached the edge as I gathered up the rest of my mind. Everything was so clear and dark….I knew this was the only way. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t afraid. I was strangely calm in my actions-- 

My eyes fell on a scene of thugs before the building, in front of my closed store. It had been closed for a while but at this time of night it wouldn’t have appeared out of place. 

Three men. I recognized them almost immediately as my stomach hurt in protest. They called across the street to two more men-- another which I recognized among them.

The thugs chasing me...The man who stabbed me….

The height was too much to add to this situation as I swayed. Quickly I hugged the roof, peering over the edge as I laid there, staring down. All those men...I had seen them before..

Finally I was afraid. My rationality washed out as I realized exactly what was happening. They had found me and my store-- and now they were speaking.

I struggled to hear them over the sounds of the city and wind rushing around me. My heart raced in my chest, it’s pound a fierce reminder of my own energy and life-- both of which were in danger. 

“Break the glass. She’s got to be in there somewhere.” one of the first men called back as the two from across the street joined them. “We’re gonna smoke her out.” 

He withdrew something bulky and dark from his coat pocket. It was hard to see this high up enough as it was, so it didn’t help that my eyes had begun to tear up with fear. 

I was frozen in terror as I watched him pull out a lighter and light the end of the object in his hand-- a bottle filled with some nasty liquid I was sure was intended to burn this entire building down.

Fearful, I scrambled to my feet, eyes wide with fear as I reached out toward the edge, a feeble attempt to stop the men-- but I was too high up and it was far too late. 

The wick was lit. The bottle thrown.

 

The shop window broke far too easily as the bottle shattered through it-- and subsequently exploded inside shortly. Upon impact, more bottles were thrown-- all of the men lighting their own as they backed away from the area, waiting.

 

My voice wouldn’t sound. It was hidden beneath my fear and shock in my heart, too heavy to rise and scream. My shop. All of my hard work-- now shattered. 

 

The building shook with another more hearty explosion as the rest of my shop caught fire, the oils and other things I sold igniting.

 

Adrenaline washed through me as I realized what was next to explode. If things got any worse then surely the fire would spread right to the old pipes--- and the gas line. I had to get out of here. I had to do something--- but going down the stairs would assure that I run into the fire and explosions myself--

Not that they wouldn’t reach me here, but if I went back down then I’d only run into it a lot faster. 

I couldn’t outrun an explosion. 

What other way? The only other option was to jump off the roof. And no matter what I had planned earlier, I didn’t want to have them find my body here and now. It would mean that they won. Even if this was inadvertently Izaya’s fault no matter how you looked at it, and he was the cause for me wanting to disappear before, they would think I panicked and jumped from their actions, not before. 

Besides, if I survive the fall, there was no telling what would happen. I could be killed by the explosion or taken by them. 

Stuck, I began to cry, backing away from the edge of the building, my whole body shaking with fear. 

 

I was going to die here. Without knowing what I had even done wrong-- Without even knowing who these men were!!! They wanted to get at Izaya but what did that have to do with me?? No matter how many times I told them and countless others that there was nothing between me and the devil of Ikebukuro, no one believed me. 

I was innocent! I had done nothing and in fact had been about to deny him every right to my life before they got here. And now...Now…

 

The building shook once more. Thank goodness it was small and no one else could really be hurt from inside...But as the bricks and concrete shook violently, the flames finally reaching the gas line, I ran to the edge furthest away from the men and jumped. 

I had no time to think. Maybe the explosion or the impact would kill me and that would be that. It would be the end.

 

I wasn’t scared before but I was now. I closed my eyes, feeling the embrace of darkness as I approached the ground quickly. The air rushed around me, the current of energy erratic and chaotic. 

 

This was the end. 

 

I felt the impact, harsh and cold and life absorbingly dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. 
> 
>  
> 
> Who can blame her? Izaya's games can really mess with you. 
> 
>  
> 
> On a side note, I'm so thankful for all of you readers, it means a lot to see all those kudos and hits. I honestly didn't think this fic would get any. So thanks. :) Is anyone excited for what happens next?


	7. Contingency

When you expect to wake up dead, the first thing you don’t expect to recognize is sound. 

That was clue one I hadn’t died. I heard the sounds of the city outside, felt the warmth of the sun on my skin. I could hear the cars and the people, the streets and music. I could hear life, feel it as it danced through my lungs and brain. 

I was not dead. Instead my body felt as if it were lying on a nice warm couch, resting in a time of slumber.

I was far beyond relieved. 

The second thing I realized after the relief that I wasn’t dead was that I was not lying on a pillow- rather someone’s lap. It was a strange feeling but if it weren’t for the strangeness of the situation, I thought I might actually enjoy it.

The feeling of someone’s fingers running over my head in a gentle, affectionate gesture was not something I would have rejected either, but given the circumstances, I panicked.

I sprung from the couch in a burst of energy. Which, really, was a bad idea considering the coffee table wasn’t that far away. It was in perfect head hitting range. And, of course, I hit my head. Not even a moment later I was crumpled on the floor in pain, forcing my gaze to turn to the other being on the couch. Through teary eyes I could tell it was Izaya. Even without his voice.

“Good morning.” he chimed, leaning down to my level. “You know, I hear sleeping like that does bad things to your back.” 

“Sh-Shut it.” I snap, bringing my body up to a sitting position. It’s slow and difficult but when I finally manage it, the pain starts to lessen. “Don’t tell me this has happened...Again” 

My head pounds heavily, a throbbing pain that spreads through my body. I’m fatigued and tired and in pain. And the one thing that could make me feel worse is sitting right across from me on the couch with a shit eating grin.

“I’m afraid it has. You’ve fallen asleep in my apartment once more, Raine.” Izaya shrugs, his brown eyes flickering with an intense emotion I don’t want to take the time to name. He’s getting some kind of sick pleasure out of seeing me in pain beneath him and I don’t like it one bit.

Of course he does. I’m right where he wants me-- again. This time, I’m truly in the den of evil, the center of the storm that is Izaya Orihara.

I have to get out.

Hadn’t I tried that before….?

 

Memories wash through me as I remember. My heart races, pounding against my bones. I’m not dead but my store is. My apartment, too. 

“What happened? My store-- my apartment!!! I had jumped off the roof!” I scrambled, my mind racing as I tried to remember what happened after I jumped. “The men returned, all of them. They threw bottles of liquid and they set my shop on fire! They said- They said they were going to smoke me out..” I whimpered and stared down at my hands, flabbergasted. 

I was shaking.

“Ah, yes. The thugs from before. They came back with a burning vengeance. We talked about this last night but it seems you may have not been completely conscious.” Izaya sighed and watched as I collected myself, trying to remember.

Why couldn’t I remember…?

“All I remembered is jumping to get away...I…” I muttered, reaching for answers I couldn’t receive. My mind was a haze of emotion and emptiness, no memory surfacing.

How had Izaya found me? Had he fought the thugs and brought me here himself? 

. . .

That didn’t sound like Izaya at all. Sure, appearing out of the blue like this sounded like him but to fight and take me to safety? 

Fighting? Maybe. My safety? Not at all.

“How did you find me?” I asked and looked directly at him, my anger rising. “Because I _know_ I didn’t call you.” I hissed and rose to my feet. 

Everything that had happened so far, every last problem I’d encountered in the last few months had all been at the hands of Izaya. And here I was again, in his den of control. I was a slave to his whims. His fingers pulled the strings of my fate.

“Stooping so low as to accuse me once more? That’s hardly nice considering you’re talking to someone who went out of their way to get you to safety.” 

“Maybe that’s because everytime I wake up and can’t remember how I got to some strange place you’re always right there? It’s starting to become painstakingly obvious you’re behind all of this.” the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them and immediately Izaya’s eyes turn a shade darker, his interest now a bit more sinister. 

I just keep digging myself deeper. 

“And even with someone throwing you a life preserver, you’d rather struggle than accept help. It would be admirable if it weren’t so stupid, really.” Izaya mocked as he rested his arms on the edge of the couch behind him, lounging comfortably. “So let’s get right down to business and address your ridiculous paranoia. What could I gain from all of these bad things happening to you? Because, if I seem to recall it right, I made you an offer for better business the other day. A deal that would better you in the end, actually.”

“That didn’t answer anything I asked.” I growled, “If you don’t want me to accuse you, maybe you should start explaining.” 

Izaya shoots me a look that paralyzes me. His anger, flared and extended with just a sigh, swarming around me in massive wave of fury. I cannot match his completely but I won’t back down until I get answers. 

“Very well. I tried to warn you before, if you recall. There were people after you with intent for some serious harm. I had guessed they’d plan something to finalize their message after sending an amateur the first round and kept tabs on them. When I heard about them congregating and planning to attack your store, I gathered a few friends to aid in your rescue. The black rider, to start. And Shinra, if you remember him, to take care of any injuries. But those are just the two you know.” 

I stopped, trying not to release every ounce of my anger as it grew. He was clever and I was irrational. He had proven that much several times over.

“And where are they now?” I snapped. He could be lying for all I knew.

“Check your bandages. Call them. Whatever will make you feel better to know that this is the complete truth I’m telling you. Of course, Shinra mentioned you might have memory issues with the explosion, so I’m not all that surprised you don’t recall being rescued. You were fairly lucid after a short while. Enough so to tell me and them what it was you were doing on that roof in the first place.” 

The last nail to my coffin. Hit with such force, I couldn’t help but waver slightly in my stance. 

I collapsed onto the couch, keeping my gaze low, more toward my feet and the floorboard. 

“...How much did I tell you?” I whispered, my voice loud in the quiet room as Izaya waited for my response.

I had lost.

He knew this long before I could have even hoped to know. 

“Last night or the last time you couldn’t remember our conversation?” Izaya taunted, his smile dripping into his voice with pure glee. It was very conspicuous, his tone a sing song version of his regular smirk filled voice. 

“...Before?” I asked and my head shot up to meet his bright gaze. He was enjoying this. Every. Last. Bit.

“When you last woke up here after running from the thugs? We talked a bit then too. But then you told me you thought I was monstrous and dangerous. Which, I’ll give you some credit, it holds some merit. But to think I was intentionally trying to ruin your life? What would I gain from that?” Izaya sighed and tilted his head back with a slight laugh. “And then last night you tell me you were up there trying to kill yourself when they attacked. To escape from me.”

I can’t say anything. I can’t deny it and I don’t want him to hear the words of confirmation from my lips again. He already has enough against me. 

“You’ve hurt my feelings, Raine.” Izaya sighs, his eyes staring up at the ceiling as he speaks. “After every turn I’ve tried to help you and this is what you reward me with.”

Izaya shifts so he’s staring at me again, his eyes intent and full of a new emotion. 

“What should I do with you?” he mocks, his voice sharp and hurtful. “Trying-- and actually succeeding-- to save your life twice now without so much as a thank you. It’s a fruitless, dammed effort, isn’t it?” 

I can only nod. He’s right. 

“Not to mention there are countless others I could extend this amount of energy and second chances to. There are others just itching for this opportunity, aren’t there, Raine?” 

I am small against his entirety. He knows this. I have been ungrateful and selfish and foolish. 

He knows this well.

“There are.” I whimper, knowing he’s completely justified in leaving me with nothing. I have done nothing to deserve it. Nothing but fight and damage and destroy.

“Yes, you’re absolutely right. There are countless others who would be blessed to receive even a fraction of what I’m offering you.” he agreed and as he shifted his legs to cross, my heart skipped a beat. A sickening feeling weighed down in my stomach, whispering things I didn’t want to think. 

Was he retracting his offer? Even after everything had been burned down? Not that I had much to offer him now, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t rebuild my business! My customers could still be faithful! If he would just give me a chance- but did I deserve it? Another second chance when he had already given me so many?

 

“But,” he continues and my heart rises in hopes of redemption. If I can just prove myself to him, I can do better. I _will_ do better. “My clients don’t go to them. It’s my job to be in everyone’s business and as it stands, my clients seem to be involved in a lot of yours. I was just trying to make a smooth transition so we both know each other as allies. Friends, even.” Izaya shrugged, his eyes dancing with a dark light. Like the shadow a match has cast beneath it’s light, he burned so bright I was almost blinded. 

I sink further into the couch. For as angry as I used to be, I am now incredibly relieved and distraught. Izaya was the best at getting under my skin, that was for sure, and before he was so far underneath it he could carve his name straight into my femur. 

He probably already has. It would be his right, after all. 

He had a point. Not that I liked it or the fact that it was practical and actually a brilliant business move. I wanted him to be wrong. I wanted him to be reckless and irrational and as seedy and underhanded as I knew he was. I wanted to see his real mask and skin. Not this sketchy and dodgy informant who played everyone like a conductor who knew every instrument personally. As if we were all toys he spent time with and observed so well he could find our flaws and strengths and use them to better suit him.

But that was exactly what he did. And that’s why he got under my skin. Showing him my irritation only furthered his amusement in the action. It gave him ammunition against me. To sink me lower and lower beneath him.

All I wanted was to get to the bottom of this whole mess with Izaya. That hadn’t worked out. So I had tried to escape…

Again, my plans of escape were foiled. As stupid as it might have seemed, it was a way out in an otherwise inescapable cavern. 

I had to start facing the truth. He was right. He had always been right. 

My mind fuzzed with anger and sadness. I didn’t want to admit it but he was. He always was. Izaya had been there to rescue me from the start. My small business...My life..Twice now.

He’d even known that I was about to end everything. He’d also mentioned we’d talked and I told him about my opinions of him. What exactly had I said? What had he heard? What parts did he now have a partial stake in? What private areas of my mind did he have under a magnifying glass? 

I had to be more truthful and honest. I had to stop fighting. He had done nothing wrong. I was being irrational and fighting for no reason. I as a child and a fool. Yet, here he was, offering a second chance. 

“I..I don’t even have a shop anymore.” I manage, speaking through my tear filled voice. I was just barely holding my sadness and desperation back. “There’s nothing more I can offer you.”

I stared down at my hands, tracing the lines in my palms with my eyes. Everything was gone. 

Previously his posture had been all dominance, no mercy. His legs were spread in a comfortable fashion, his arms draped on the couch. The picture of comfortable and complete control. A god before a mortal, fully aware of his power and every last bit of strength he has hidden in facets of his biological makeup. Physical and otherwise, his stance was to make me feel dominated. Controlled.

Now he sat forward, closing of some of the radiating intimidation from before. His eyes softened a great deal as I choked back my sobs, biting my bottom lip harshly. 

This was truly my end. I would have to call my parents and tell them what a fool I’d been. Ignoring the helping hand extended to me multiple times.. Gods, I was so stupid.

Without a word, Izaya stood and sat beside me, his hands gently taking my own as he bent to catch my eye. 

“Come on now,” he cooed lightly, a small smile on his lips. “This isn’t the end. I can help you rebuild your business. I can even offer you protection from those thugs. I can help you, Raine.” 

His words were so soft. Whispered in the puffs of hope and belief. 

 

He saved my life twice and now he was offering to help my business.

 

Why had I ever hated this man? His kindness, while sometimes misguided and with hidden meanings and purposes was strong enough to make me realize it in his energy. In his soul, the bright patches behind his confidence, he was so kind and gentle. How had I not seen it before?

“But I can’t repay you-” I began and my voice cracked in pain as a sob slipped out, my lips quivering in ultimate sadness. I had nothing left. How could I even dream of paying Izaya back?

“That’s not true. Our deal still stands, after all. I’m willing to give you one last chance to prove yourself. We can discuss how you can help me when you’re in a better state.” he assured, his leg pressing against mine as he released one hand to gently grasp my chin. “You’re in a time of turmoil. I’m not going to take advantage on you in this state, despite the hurtful things you might think of me. What I am doing is extending a helping hand. Will you accept it?” 

His words were so soft. My mind, fuzzed from everything else, I was incapable of withholding anything from him.

“Yes, of course.” I whispered back and my eyes watered again. “I’m so sorry-- before I was so cruel--”

“Shhhh.” Izaya shushed, “I know. For now, if you’d rather not stay with a monster I can call up Shinra and ask for you to stay at his house for the time being.” 

Izaya pulls away from me completely, withdrawing his warmth and kind smile as he presses his phone to his ear. 

“Just give me a minute, I’ll explain your discomfort with me to him-”

“No!” I yelp, reaching toward him. My head spins as I try and stand and Izaya is there in an instant, catching me with a smile. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to be away from this supposed ‘seedy and underhanded devil’?” he mocks and my stomach churns with a serious guilt. 

“I-I’m sure.” I nod and he ends the call, slipping his phone in his pocket just as quickly as he pulled it out. 

“Very well,” he nods and guides me back to the couch. “Why don’t you rest? I’ve got some business to attend to. If we want your new building to be taken care of and your insurance collected, we’d better get a move on.” 

He turns away from me and towards the computers I noticed the first time I was in here. 

“I can do that, you don’t have too-” I begin but Izaya waves me off, turning his gaze over his shoulder with a piercing glance. 

“I said I would take care of you, didn’t I? Leave it to me. Everything will be just fine. Rest.”

I can only smile and nod, silenced by his immediate problem solving procedure. 

 

He said he’d take care of me… The thought of it was strange, but I found nothing wrong with it as I laid on the couch, heavy with the need for sleep. 

It will be strange. I know this. But the sooner I make up for it and prove myself to him, the better. 

In return, I can’t let him down. 

I promise I won’t. 

 

+

Even in sleep my mind knew better than to escape all worries completely. I was in a dreamless slumber, still hearing the clack of Izaya’s fingers on the keyboard and his smooth voice as he spoke to various others. 

I could feel the energy in the air, sifting slowly through my soul. 

I had gone through a terrible tragedy. Something very, very horrible had happened and yet I was rescued. He wasn’t exactly a knight in shining armor but I would be dammed if I didn’t recognize his illuminating soul. 

Splinters of his soul remained swirling in colours behind my eyelids. I could see it, fractions of his mask falling to reveal hints at who Izaya really was. 

I was left with nothing and Izaya held the threads of my existence. The strands I had let unravel, he held safe. He would make sure I would fray no further. Keep me from untying my own woven energy.

He would take care of me. 

 

I was thankful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late! I'm just glad it's up now :)
> 
> Maybe Izaya's not so bad? 
> 
> As always, thank you and enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> -Viri


	8. Exaltation and Culpability

For as bad of an end as most of my life had met, my alliance with Izaya had started something better. Things went swimmingly for a while, leading into a new era of my life. He let things travel slowly at first- at a pace I could keep up with. 

I didn’t understand how I could have even disliked him before. Izaya was kind and gentle and understanding. He was someone who knew the limitations of others and understood. While some of what he did could have been previously interpreted as underhanded and dirty, he honestly knew what was best. It was best he didn’t share that with everyone. Besides if too many people knew that he knew what he did, too many would be jealous and angry. 

It would lead to bad things. Which is why only some others, like myself, were allowed to understand. To see these parts that he displayed behind closed doors.

I understood. It was a miracle that I had even thought that he was terrible before. The cruel and mean things that I thought about him...

He had saved me in a time when I was nowhere near the ability to save myself. I was past the time to dwell on the negativity of the past. What mattered was that I could help him here and now for all he had done for me. 

I wasn’t sure the span of time that had passed but as soon as I had most of my wounds healed, Izaya started to take me with him during the times he would meet up with clients who needed my abilities.

A lot of the client's varied. Some were regulars-- kids from high school in gangs, the yakuza, even some others who I didn’t dare guess what they needed. 

It was more than just tarot, too. Whether or not Izya understood my abilities to their complete extent was irrelevant as they started to grow. I had to study various different kinds of objects and articles of clothing for scraps of emotion and energy tied to them. Flashes of memories, waves of emotion-- I was searching through the information of the life of whomever owned the pieces I held. I read the aura tied to them, the wisps of souls attached to whatever was given to read. 

Some showed visions of bloody scenes. Others showed happy memories, locations-- the emotions were by far worse. To feel the fear as someone ran for their life or the rush of information I got from the lost souls that were trying to reach through-- they were odd cases and rare but they were still the ones that haunted me.

I never told Izaya about what I went through at night. The terrors that washed through my mind, the echos I remembered in my soul. The screaming and the laughter and the crying for help were not sounds I heard lightly. They weren’t things I could hear and just forget. The emotion they felt was passed through my body, a complete conduit for their turmoil. I was the bridge they could use to convey messages and repeat what had happened. 

The missing children who still roamed the vacant streets, the women who just couldn’t get away, the men who were running from monsters they had created.

It was a job that was wearing on me more than just mentally and emotionally. I was worn and tired after reading and seeing each object already. But the aftershocks and effects of reading still lingered days and weeks after I had done them. Like pictures painted behind my eyelids, I watched the scenes endlessly, unable to escape.

I thought I was hiding it well. Keeping it hidden from Izaya’s attention so he wouldn’t think I was ungrateful. I had to pay him back for everything he had done for me. If the consequence for doing this was a few terrifying images that would eventually fade, then I would accept it. I wouldn’t prevent myself from paying him back. Not after everything he had done.

I stayed with Izaya in his large apartment. My room was only a few doors down from where his was and with the walls well insulated for noise reduction, so no matter the screaming from terror and fear, he would never hear.

 

Or so I thought.

 

It was late when I was being shaken awake from alert hands, the shreds of my memory fading as I came to reality. 

Izaya hovered in my vision, his face twisted in a strange sense of concern and curiousness. There was something in his burning brown eyes, mixed in the rust and earth of his iris’. A gleam, a shimmer of knowing that I would later reflect upon but in the moment I recognized the familiarity of his face and clung to it.

Without meaning to my arms wrapped around his chest and I buried my face into his shoulder. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I was gasping for breath between sobs, my voice hoarse and scratchy. Empty of my own sound and unable to communicate.

I was shaking a great deal even after Izaya had shifted me so I was sitting in front of him as he leaned against the headboard of my bed. I was cradled to his chest by his arms, held loosely but securely in his embrace. Like a child I whimpered in fear of something I couldn’t control. All the visions and the voices and the emotions had gotten to me.

I matched my breathing with each breath Izaya took. It helped as I counted my heart beats in the moments between until they slowed. When I was calm enough to not shake and each intake and exhale of breath sounded like the crashing waves against solid ground, I glanced up to Izaya. 

His face was occupied with the ceiling until he met my gaze. His small smile- or was it a smirk? I was too tired to tell- remained as he spoke.

“You were screaming.” he said, answering the question I could only ask with a quizzical look. “I thought something had happened.”

I glanced down sheepishly. “Thank you.” I muttered and turned my gaze away from him and closed my eyes. I couldn’t look anywhere or I would start crying. 

I can’t believe I let it get this bad. It hadn’t gotten to this level since I had first discovered my gifts. The unprotected stream of information cast into me unintentionally harmfully had traumatized me. It was then my mother had taught me to learn how to filter it. It had taken a while but it wasn’t easy to have these kinds of gifts in a world generally unaccepting of such.

“Humans are so strange.” Izaya sighed wistfully, “Putting themselves through so much without giving warning to anyone who might care or be able to help. The kinds of sacrifices you humans take in the name for others is unbelievable. But it’s why I love you all. So willing to do what you can. It’s admirable.” 

His voice is silky and lovely as it always is, filled with a bubbling joy at the topic of his favorite thing- Humans. I’d heard him speak of such more than once. It was the driving force for why he does what he does. I might have found it strange before-- or, at least, I _think_ I would have. I’m not entirely sure what I would have thought about it before I met Izaya-- but it was common now. Normal. Izaya adored humans. It’s a fact I have learned and understand.

I still heard the question behind his normal tone however. The wonderings of his mind echoing in my skull now that I had some understanding to the inner workings of Izaya himself. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you...I’m sorry.” I muttered softly, meekly. There was a degree of anger in his voice, miniscule and small but detectable to trained ears.

“It’s alright. I think you can find a way to make it up to me.” Izaya grinned and his flickering eyes met mine with a strange intensity that almost made me shiver. “But for now why don’t you start with explaining why you decided to hide this in the first place? This is the first time you’ve screamed about it. I’m quite surprised you’ve suppressed it this long.”

Ah there it was. The question I’d been dreading since these terrors started. I hadn’t wanted to concern him with this. 

After all, he did know about them this whole time. It would only make sense. Izaya noticed changes from his observations. If someone deterred from the path they were on before he would notice. He would also know the changes. 

Now I just had to tell him in my own words despite him already knowing. 

When I didn’t answer in time, Izaya shifted me closer in his arms so that he could see my face straight on. His dark eyes swimming into my gaze with a strength I had become used to by now. This was not a soul who faltered in the face of confrontation. 

“I’m not angry, if that’s what you’re concerned about.” He added shortly after and patiently waited as I struggled for words. 

My throat still hurt. What on earth had I been screaming? Was I even the one consciously speaking? 

I couldn’t remember what I had seen. Izaya was here so suddenly it seemed he had washed away any thread I could pull from what had been transmitting through me.

I took a deep breath to even out my voice. 

“I hadn’t wanted to concern you with something so...Useless. It’s really nothing--” I began but Izaya’s palm gently rested against my cheek as he demanded my gaze focus on him once more.

“You were screaming as if you were being murdered. Beyond these noise reducing walls I could hear you. And you’re saying it’s nothing?” he asked, his voice laced with amusement, “You don’t have to lie, Raine.”

“Well it was something but I didn’t want to be taken away from helping you.” I gave up trying to look anywhere else but his face. I was open to him, curtains drawn away and nowhere else to hide once more. 

In the spotlight of his eyes I was center stage, performing with every piece he gave me to use. Under his microscope, his mind filtering my every word, my every facial movement shown categorized and labeled. He was predicting my next movements and my thoughts.

I was awestruck by him once more. Every inch he saw gave him more to understand. More to filter. 

“I don’t want to be taken away from the field.” I add after I regained some of my mind to speak, “I can handle the work. I can repay you.”

Izaya is silent for a while as his grin widens on his face. It’s growing with glee and anticipation, his emotions splaying out momentarily. 

“That’s what I like to hear.” 

Excitement wafts off of his attitude and into mine as I reach the rising pleasure of making him happy. It’s rewarding to know I’ve done something right for him. The rush to my head makes me grin and all the soreness and terror from before washes away completely. It’s all replaced by Izaya. His smile, his happiness, his laugh. Everything is covered in his dark imprint-- the burning rusty brown that I’ve come to see so much has shaded my sight so completely it’s everywhere I look.

Why had I ever tried to fight against that fact? I can’t quite remember why I wanted to be anywhere but here with Izaya.

Not to mention really here. Right now. In his arms and practically his lap.

“As for forgiveness,” Izaya chuckles, “For making me rush all the way over here to wake you up..”

I can feel my nerves shivering in anticipation as he leans closer to my face, his lips parting slightly as he whispers words that echo deep into my bones. 

“I still know you’re very much attracted to me. That being said, we’re both adults. We could consent to do something about this attraction.” 

His hands slide from holding me to him to my hips, fingers spread as his lidded gaze meets my own more surprised face. 

I can feel his energy, swirling and ready. Patiently he’s holding back his own thirst-- his lust-- all for me. 

I can’t find it in myself to deny him. 

However, neither can I allow myself to go along with it.

“I’m sorry.” I murmur, my own heart quivering in an attempt to shatter. “I don’t think that would be good for business partners. Especially ones as in as close of a proximity as we are.” 

The words hurt. My own hunger lashes in an attempt to break my resolve but I hold strong. 

Izaya’s still grinning and I’d be damned if I didn’t recognize the glint in his eyes. He’s more interested now. I can feel it curling inside of his aura. In the depth and very top of his energetic field around him, it’s there, growing with every second. 

Slowly his hands retract from touching me. My skin burns in response, empty and craving that which I have denied. The spaces he touched are alive with sparks from his intensity. His colour, staining my soul, leaves my nerves on edge as he slides away from me.

“Is there anything else I can do?” I ask, just barely able to speak. My voice is hoarse once more. 

“Actually, there is.” Izaya chortles as he stands from my bed to leave. He pauses only a moment as he glances back toward me. “I need you to do a few more things for me. We’ll talk more about it tomorrow.”

+

The rush from making Izaya happy had soon faded after he left. There was an immense guilt lying beneath my skin. It was poisonous and dangerous and made me shake with fear and sadness.

When he withdrew his offer from yesterday he truly withdrew quite a bit of himself as well. The closeness we had worked toward had been discarded, although I had a fear it might be more than temporary. 

If this was punishment it was working well. 

As for what I could do to make it up to him, he had surprised me once again with something even stranger. 

I was back to my old business. I had a new shop set up thanks to him where all my regulars had now come to scope out. It was a bit closer to Izaya’s apartment than my last location had been but not many seemed to mind it was farther than before. 

I was walking out alone now, as well. Although I still stayed where Izaya did, we talked significantly less. Perhaps it was the reputation I had built up by just being known to be beside Izaya or maybe it was the fact Izaya had most of the city in his grasp with fear alone-- but no one so much as looked at me the wrong way. 

Word traveled kind of fast. Anyone who so much as had a bad thought they shared was ushered as far away from me by other bystanders. There was always the reprimanding and the scolding and the gossip--

_“Don’t you know who that is?”_

_“Don’t even look at her the wrong way. Izaya will have your skin.”_

_“I hear she’s just as dangerous as he is.”_

_“Well, **I** heard that she’s killed countless men.”_

_“Sweetie, stay away from that woman.”_

_“Keep out of her path.”_

_“Don’t look her in the eyes-- you might turn to stone!”_

_“Or worse, she’ll possess you! Control you!”_

_“Maybe that’s what she did to him?”_

_“Shh!!! Here she comes!!!”_

I ignore all the talk. It’s useless to pay attention anyhow. 

Izaya told me there would be talk. That some of it would be from the mouths of liars and cheaters. Or fools and cowards. They would be jealous and misunderstand. I had to forgive them.

They were all his precious humans, after all. It was only natural for them to not know what they spoke of. 

He handled the matter much like he handled his business, calm and collected but yet with a strong sense that overpowered other’s more meek personalities. His word would be law. A commandment for them to follow. A whisper to guide them. 

Whether or not they knew it yet was something else entirely. While Izaya was powerful, one of his best abilities was that of being able to subtle when he needed to be. To adapt with a situation, to conform enough to remain undetected. 

He used it often and masterfully. I was always in awe of his self composure constantly. To wield the power and use it in such a way it was nearly undetectable was a marvelous study. And seeing the life and energy within him flourish was breathtaking. He was a light. A beacon I was drawn to. One that I always would be.

I felt empty without him beside me.

However now was not the time to sulk. This was to prove myself to him. If I could work just as good alone as I could work with him then I would be of more use. If I was of more use then it would make him happy. And if Izaya was happy...What else mattered? 

Only, he wasn’t happy. His aura didn’t light up with the brilliantly vibrant colours as it usually did when he was. He could try and mask it but I knew. I could see it. He simply wasn’t happy.

 

He sent all his less dangerous clients to my store directly, as well. They were more attuned to my services- fortunes and candles and spells. Stones and cards and meaningful objects. I had been ordered to give them only certain news- good or bad. Not both. It was easy enough and not lying. I could live with that. I could sleep at night knowing that I wasn’t a hand in their demise. I was only a conduit for their own direction, a piece along the road to clear things up and perhaps push them in a certain way. If they were already heading down that way it didn’t really change much if I helped them further down, did it?

I believed Izaya when he told me it didn’t matter. I was helping. 

 

There were no more requests for me to dive into the imprints on objects. I was no longer asked to speak to the spirits or have them speak through me. I was no longer required to read their thoughts, memories and emotions. 

 

I wasn’t sure whether or not to be thankful for that or not. For all of my steps forward, it was a step back big enough to put distance between Izaya and I.

 

Had I failed Izaya? Had I done something to upset him? Besides denying him that night-- what else had I done?

Guilt swam deep into my heart as it beat.

If I could make up for what I did, I would. But I just couldn’t dive into a physical relationship with him. He had made it obvious more than once that he loved all humans, not just any one. There were no favourites. There were no exceptions. 

I was no different to him.

My usefulness to him was not one of emotional attachment. It was one of convenience. I had abilities and a business he could use and could help him in return for what he had done for me.

And for as much as I had accepted the idea that _yes_ , I was attracted to the notorious and powerful Izaya Orihara and _yes_ , I might have developed feelings, I couldn’t give into something that would hurt me in the long run. No matter how much it would be satisfying in the beginning. No matter if it was Izaya and as much as I think I could ignore my own emotions I knew that deep down I would get too close. Close enough to let my guard down. Close enough to get lost in those deep brown eyes. In his charcoal hair and his creamy skin. 

That was entirely too close. 

But what if it was hurting him? What if he had discovered he had feelings for one human? For…

For me?

The guilt grew, but this time it brought along panic. Had I rejected Izaya when we had both wanted the same thing?

I hardly even noticed when a familiar face had surfaced in front of me. As I was lost in my thoughts about Izaya, the last face I had to expected to see was that of Shizuo Heiwajima.

“Hey, you alright?” Shizuo inquired and gently nudged my shoulder, his voice more rough now that I was paying attention.

“Shizuo?” I murmured and blinked twice. I had to be dreaming. I hadn’t seen him for a while. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard you got a new shop around these parts.” Shizuo shrugged and glanced around. “Didn’t really seem like your kind of place but I figured your regulars had more truth to their words.”

“My regulars told you where I was?” I was still in shock. Was I really seeing Shizuo here and was he really looking for me?

Wait...Hadn’t I been sad about something previously? 

Something to do with Izaya-

Ah, right. I had disappointed him.

The guilt seeped back in just as Shizuo spoke. 

“Yeah. There was all this buzz about your old place being burned down. When I went to check it out it seemed true enough.”

“Oh. Yeah. Something happened but it’s alright now.” Thanks to Izaya. 

Who I disappointed. 

“Good. I’m glad. Are you still selling that oil?” 

“Do you like it that much?” I chuckle and nod. “Yeah, it’s one of my best sellers. Of course I think it would sell a lot more if I disclosed that the strongest man in Ikebukuro purchases it.”

The silence that follows makes me question my words. Had he known I was joking? Or not?

“I wouldn’t, of course.” I add shortly after and search his face. He’s still standing there, smoking his cigarette. 

Sometimes it’s hard to read him.

“Did you need something else from the store? I could open it up for a minute, if you wanted.” 

It was definitely past store hours. Not that I would keep it open for much longer but Shizuo was kind of a special case. I didn’t want to upset him, of course, but I don’t think he would be the kind of person to be upset over something like that. 

If anything, Shizuo is one of the calmest people I’ve met. For as much as a reputation he has here in this city, I can only imagine it’s fabricated with rumours and deceitful information.

Shizuo finishes his cigarette and stomps it out before he shakes his head. “Not what I’m here for this time.”

“Oh?” If not anything I sell in store, what does he want? Had he heard about my business deal with Izaya? Or the rumours spreading now that I had been seen on more than one occasion with the notorious informant? 

I did recall a time when the two were at odds. With Shizuo chasing Izaya away. At the time I had considered it a blessing, but now that I had gotten the chance to know Izaya a little more I didn’t understand it. 

Not that I believed Shizuo was bad, either. Perhaps the two were just at odds. Colliding in disastrous ways. Neither at fault but neither completely innocent either.

“I came to see if they found the bastards that burned it down.” His voice is sharp and dangerous. Angry.

It takes me a minute to recognize it. The burning in his tone, swept into his voice like the bursting of fire. This anger has kindled itself within him for so long it’s devouring his entirety. 

I can see it in his aura. The flickering bright colours in his energy like the bursting of the sun spores, spreading and igniting as they continue on in him. He is strong in ways I hardly believed possible. Connected to an old kind of energy that had long since abandoned humanity-- is he really human? 

I suppose he actually is due to the severe degree this energy is known to have has been dulled down. It is contained in his spirit, deep within his soul it is chained. Only briefly does it receive the chance to be released-- and now I see that is only when he loses his grip on it. 

To see this coexistence is a privilege in itself. Standing before me, speaking with me. 

It’s almost as if I’m dreaming. 

Had I not had the ability to see this before? Previously he was masked to my senses, hidden in plain sight. It was waiting, I think, just for me to notice it. Why else would it flare up now?

Was Shizuo losing control? 

The thought should scare me. It should terrifying me, really. With his reputation for destruction and the fear of the populace smoking up in tendrils of terror from beneath his shoe, I should follow suit.

However, I can’t come to terms with a good reason why. Maybe it’s because I’m so used to this kind of behaviour that is considered dangerous now. Or maybe I’ve lost the rational fear that should come with the presentation of such power. Either way, I’m not running and I know that any sane person would be.

“No but they’re working on leads.” At least, that’s what Izaya’s told me. He’s done most of the work in dealing with the police and others nosing about in the tragedy. I have no reason not to believe him.

After all he is doing some of his own searching. Now that he has more to follow up on with all of those who caused it being a team. 

All he has to do is look at his enemies. Which granted is a lot. Plus some more if you count in those who could be possible enemies.

It might take a while. 

I have accepted this fact.

“Working on it?” Shizuo repeats with a sigh. His control is returning slowly as he lights another cigarette. “Sounds like you’re getting the short end.”

“They’re doing the best they can.” I shrug. There isn’t much else I can do. Sitting and waiting has done nothing. 

Working with and for Izaya, one the other hand, filled my time with meaning instead of wasteful nothing. 

Shizuo’s eyes are alight with an intense emotion curling beneath his iris’ as he’s measuring my reaction. No matter how much time has passed I understand I do not appear to be under the normal reactions of those who had undergone such a tragedy. 

Physically I should be a wreck. But with Izaya’s help my grieving has become lessened. I will not sit and pout and cry. I will go out and rebuild. I will remain calm. I will not allow them to take an ounce of what I had. Instead I will take more. I will receive everything I desire, everything I need. 

Everything I want.

Just like Izaya.

“You’ve come to terms with it at least.” Shizuo finally manages and glances away as he breathes in the toxins. “That’s good, I guess.”

A smile makes it way to my face. I can’t fight it. 

“I won’t let a little fire and threats hold me down. Besides, someone has to provide reasonable readings for this wonderful city, don’t you think?” 

I think maybe I’m starting to sound like my normal self, after all. It’s easier, out here on the streets of the city I still love. 

“If this city needs anything right now, it’s people like you.” Shizuo admits with a sly smile, “I just hope they find the bastards who did this to you.”

“They will. I put my faith into those who are at the front.” I smiled and bid Shizuo goodbye as we slipped into the night. 

I didn’t need to tell him who exactly my faith was set in. He could believe what he wished about who was really at the front of the search. I couldn’t tell him it was Izaya. Not until I could decipher their differences and resolve them in a peaceful way. 

Mostly because I feared the flaring anger he struggled to control. I never asked him about it and I don’t think I ever could-- but to see it flare made me understand it was something he didn’t even fully realize. If I set him off there would be no common ground. No reason.

And that was bad. Real bad.

So, for now, the friendship I was building with Shizuo could be distracted from Izaya’s presence in my life. I felt safer with him working with me-- Happier, even. I couldn’t let something else take that away.

It wasn’t lying. I told that to myself once before I believed it. If he didn’t ask directly there was no harm. And if he did, I could always avoid it. That still didn’t make it lying.

It would be better this way. He wouldn’t get angry, Izaya wouldn’t bother him and everything would be fine. 

All I had to do was carry on business as usual. 

I think I can still manage that. Despite the fact I had upset Izaya and messed up a chance at something I secretly wanted. Despite the fact I was beginning a friendship with someone who may or may not know that I’m living with his sworn enemy. 

Not to mention they people who hurt me are still out there. Maybe waiting. Maybe watching. Probably running. Still out there. Somewhere.

Business as usual in Ikebukuro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was a longer wait than usual! 
> 
> Ah yes. Business as usual. If only it were that easy ;)
> 
> Please enjoy and thank you for reading!!!! :D 
> 
>  
> 
> \- Viri

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for Durarara!! so characters will be out of character until I get the hang of writing them. Also my first OC insert that I'm actually posting because why not? 
> 
> I'm sorry for any mistakes. 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time read this! I'll post when I can and if I actually continue the series, but only time will really tell. 
> 
> Wishing for the best for you all :) - Viri


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